Our dear friend, Szayelapowo, is having a bad time right now…can I request something for them? I think they need some Szayel going crazy with his breeding kink. ;) I love you both! ❤️😘

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

You dreaded the damn holographic egg sticker that reflected so brightly on the calendar attached to your refrigerator. For a moment you thought of peeling it off and misplacing it to another date. You just weren't in the mood today. But your crazy scientist had other ways of figuring out your cycle. So why bother with the deceptions.

You swear your man can smell the fluctuations in your hormones from Hueco Mundo. Or maybe he injected you with some monitor and it dings him a notification as soon as your ovaries get to work. Whatever he had going on back at his lab was efficient and accurate because as soon as you started feeling light cramps in your lower half, the front door opened on cue. Yes, you gave him the keys to your house. He was a huge part of your life now!

“Very gloomy. And on a rather joyous day!” He steps into your living room and you pretend to be reading a book.

“Hi to you too”, you reply without making eye contact. As soon as you peered into those golden eyes, you were sucked into a crazy ride. Not that you complained but not today.

“Why the long face? You should be excited! Skin should be hot and prickly for my touch. The core should be heating up! Array of hormones pumping through your tight sexy arteries. Your tiny primate brain should think of nothing but breeding nonstop for the next 24 hours! Why do you think I have such gorgeous bright pink hair? I’m a peacock amongst the ugly crowd. I have successfully caught the attention of my mate! So let’s shed our skins (clothes) and start copulating until bodies grow weary and we are reduced to a soupy mess of fluids!”

“Yup”. You totally killed the vibe and crashed his theatrical performance.

“You are in a mood today. What’s wrong? An eggless ovulation?”

You just shrug.

“What a pity. I was hoping to breed that little egg or two. You know I'm impatient”.

“Maybe become a little more…romantic!”

“But that is not how a mammalian brain works during breeding season!”

“Fine. What do you want!? Flowers? Chocolate? Hand holding and a walk in the park? Perhaps skin-to-skin cuddling? I'll compromise on that. Just let me BREED YOU! Time is ticking! I hate to admit but darling I have yet to find a way to stop time”.

You hand him the romantic novel you were reading, the worst of the genre.

“Read this. You have 24 hours to woo me. If not, well there goes a perfectly ripe fertile egg gone to the dumpsters!”

“Very testy today. Now I am curious if you are ovulating or is it full blown PMS?”

He flips through the novel at hyper ultraspeed and hands it to you and walks towards the kitchen.

“Where are you going?”

“Baking you a cake. It's either that or soft sex”.

“You know how to bake a cake?”

“With the right ingredients, I can create anything”.

You sit patiently for a while before jumping off the couch with a feeling of dread.

“Hey! Don't put anything funny in the cake!!!!”

Szayelaporro gave you a smirk, standing there with chocolate batter all ready to go into the pre-heated oven. He was wearing a pink apron you got him months ago.

That pink apron was enough to woo you. Enough for you to forget the fact that he most definitely tampered with the recipe.

(pink apron 💕)