Tea Time for Agents

horniest battle moments:

- taking your ally's weapon out of their scabard to use yourself

- using someone else's shoulder as a rifle stand

- nudging someone's chin up with the tip of your weapon

- freezing with your blades against one another's throats, breathing into each other's mouths

- Using your closest companion’s habits or techniques in a fight.

- Using your rival’s habits or techniques in a fight.

- Same as above, against that same rival.

i have a new theory called alive internet theory where i propose that the internet is full of real people and you can befriend some of them even and maybe actually kiss them and more

Big fan of when old jrpgs would do this

Also this:

We gotta stop aiming for unique and interesting baby names we gotta start naming every single infant straight-shot middle-of-the-road ass popular common unisex names like Alex and Sam. By the end of 2031 I wanna see 100% of kindergarten children named either Alex or Sam and you know what, let’s make ‘em all Smiths and Johnsons, too. In an age of digital tracking give your baby the gift of total functional anonymity within the panopticon

I don't like this post

Me: “The food webs we try to teach children and the public are too simple to get the point across. Why do they never bother to show the more intricate relationships between specific species? It can’t be that hard to represent with basic teaching tools... I’ll make the thing!”

The thing:

Me: “....I get it now.”

I have now had several teachers ask me if they can use this image in a class presentation. 

never, ever, ever let the the stress of this bitch of an earth and its torment nexus stop you from making time for yaoi

ON IT CHIEF

pick up your banjo

you ever listen to a song 47 times in a row and every time you’re like wow what a good song. I’m gonna play it again.

the problem with having too many siblings is that you forget which ones you’ve come out to and which ones you haven’t, which leads to such situations as

Me: GUESS WHO’S GETTING THEY TITS OFF

Sibling: Oh hell yeah. How much that cost

Me: Bruh gender procedures are free in BC?

Sibling: GENDER PROCEDURE?

Me:

Me: OH FUCK

Me: WHY DID YOU THINK I WAS GETTING RID OF THEM?

Sibling: I DON’T KNOW THEY SEEM ANNOYING

Me: Okay that’s fair

A couple job interview hacks from someone who has to give a job interview every single goddamn day: (disclaimer: this goes for my process and my company’s process, other companies and industries might be different)

1. There are a few things I check and a few questions I ask literally just to figure out if you can play the game and get along with others in a professional setting. Part of the job I interview for is talking to people, and we work in teams. So if you can’t “play the game” a tiny bit, it’s not going to work. Playing the game includes:

- Why do you want to work here? (just prove that you googled the company, tell me like 1 thing about us, I just want to know that you did SOME kind of preparation for this interview)

- Are you wearing professional clothing? I don’t need a suit just don’t show up in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.

- Are you able to speak respectfully and without dropping f-bombs all the time? Not because I’m offended but because I don’t want to be reported to HR if you wind up on my team.

- Can you follow simple directions in an interview?

2. Stop telling me protected information. I don’t want to know about what drugs or medications you’re on, I don’t want to know about you being sick, I don’t want to know if you’re planning to have children soon, I don’t want to know anything about your personal life other than “can you do the job?” 

3. When we ask, “What questions do you have for me?” here are my favorites I’ve heard: - What does the day-to-day look like for a member of your team?

- If one of your team members was not performing up to his usual standard, what steps would you take to correct that?

- What can I start doing now to accelerate my learning process in this job?

- What are some reservations you have about me as a candidate? (be ready for this emotionally….it will REALLY help you in the future, and I’ve had people save themselves from a No after this, but can be hard to hear)

- In your opinion, what skills and qualities does the ideal candidate for this job possess?

- What advice would you give to a new hire in this position/someone who wanted to break into this industry, as someone who has worked here for a while?

Those are just my tips off-the-cuff. I work in sales in marketing/SAAS, so these can be very different depending on the industry, but I wish the people I interview could read this before they show up. 

Yes STOP TELLING PEOPLE PROTECTED INFORMATION IN INTERVIEWS. do not volunteer anything including “I’m currently pregnant.”

i ended up coloring it lol