tess

Instagram credit: theslowtraveler

felt the sun on my face +100000000hp

using the bus tracker app is like. oh it's going to be here in three minutes. now it's five minutes. oh the bus has killed itself

pioneering something called "gritted teeth optimism" where everything is gonna turn out okay even if i have to bite and claw and gnash my way through it

Sometimes I hyperfocus so hard on something, I forget I’m a person until someone interacts with me. I feel like some wild animal seeing a human being for the first time. I’m like “oh yeah I’m supposed to speak and stuff”

Me: *doing something for hours on end without stopping*

Someone: Hey, are you there? I was just wondering if you’d like to-

Me:

For every single person in the notes going “yeah” or “same” or something like that…

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

Toast in the crab apple tree!

when I’m scrolling through a blog and see they reblogged one of my posts

yes given a half an opportunity i would time-travel in order to kidnap my child self and bring them to the present and raise them with love and tenderness and safety, and that's a completely normal thought that everyone has had

"but what about the timeline" look me in the eye and tell me you're attached to this timeline. u think i give a shit? outta my way i've got an inner child to nurture

Cerberus at the pet store

if tumblr shuts down you'll find me like this

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

i had a dream i worked in an underwater restaurant and people kept ordering ice in their drinks and then getting mad at me when it would float away. and i’d tell them beforehand that the ice would float away & they’d be like lol no that’s not how it works just give me the ice. I’m fighting customer service battles never seen before

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations