I'm tired

this answer on a “what’s the most embarrassing thing you did as a kid” reddit thread has been haunting me since i read it

“HOW WAS YOUR DAY RAT BASTARD?” 

There should be an extension where every single Mario Kart World image that gets posted to social media has text superimposed on it that says "Okay but...this game costs 80 US dollars."

Artist Rendition

In what world should a video game cost $80

I AM NOT PAYING 500 DOLLARS + 20 DOLLARS YEARLY + 80-90 DOLLARS FOR A CARTRIDGE THAT DOESNT EVEN CONTAIN THE GAME DATA JUST TO PLAY A GAME, NINTENDO.

Chat is this real?

UNFORTUNATELY, YES.

80 bucks for Mario Kart is just un-fucking-believable in this economy btw. I want a Switch 2 eventually and I want MKW, but not a hope in hell can I afford that shit at launch. I'm hoping the initial Switch 2 sales flop (at least in comparison to Switch 1) and they lower the prices by like, a fucking margin. A smidgen. 🤏

We literally cannot let them start charging 80 dollars for video games 70 dollars was already outrageous 60 was pushing it. 80 fucking dollars. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND. For MARIO?!?!?!?!?

maybe im just a weirdo but does anyone else hear an interesting or relevant conversation behind you in a way where you think if i’d been a cat my ear would have done this just now

Republicans: we can just have Elon Musk go to Wisconsin and give everyone money. He'll give them a million dollars. It's all legal as long as we hold power forever and can stop anyone from doing anything to stop us. All of Wisconsin is bribed, nothing can go wrong now

The invincible Susan Crawford:

NBC news: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/elections/wisconsin-supreme-court-election-results-rcna198353

MOTHERFUCKER

I was a pretty sickly kid. I'm a pretty sickly adult too I guess. But one of the issues I had was constant ear infections. I almost went deaf because I just had near continuous swelling and inflammation going on. I had tubes in my ears twice because they fell out the first time.

If you're unfamiliar that's where they put a tiny gauge in your inner ear to help force it open. It's meant to stop water getting trapped back there. I had to put wax in my ears before contact with pools, baths, showers, anything, for years, to prevent water from slinking through that narrow channel and festering long enough to spawn bacteria.

It was miserable. To this day my inner ear is blighted with so much scar tissue that every single ear exam the doctor goes, "Woah." You never want to hear a doctor say woah. It's never good.

Eventually my constant rounds of antibiotics and misery was pinned on my tonsils. A doctor declared there was just too much ick hiding out in there and they had to go. I was about five or six at the time. Having surgery as a little kid is already pretty scary but I was determined to be brave. I'd already had vacuum suction tools used on my inner ear weekly a practice so painful it's banned now. I was also promised a coveted troll dinosaur for good behavior.

So I walked tremulously into the hospital to have an organ removed. By all accounts I comported myself admirably. Afterward I was coming out of anesthesia quite slowly. The nurse was carrying me back to my parents when I rasped a whispery, "Knock knock," at her.

She paused and looked down at me, "What?"

A little stronger I repeated, "Knock knock."

She was shocked her tiny patient was trying to tell a joke while higher than a kite but dutifully said, "Who's there?"

"Adam," I said in a wavery little voice.

She leaned closer to hear me, "Adam who?"

I bellowed through my raw throat, still freshly bleeding from surgery, "Adam my way, I'm gettin' outta here!"

The nurse had to stop she was laughing so hard and she was in hysterics when she delivered me back to me parents, repeating the whole episode to them, turning their anxiety into delight that their doped up child was a comedy genius.

No one knew where I'd learned the joke, but it was a staple story throughout my childhood.

huh weird.

This is probably my favourite tweet ever hello we are your bank

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

Im not compatible with a single person on the entire planet

not El rebloging, when she is compatible w me😩

You know what, you're right *kisses you*

come here my love *spins you around*

observations

yeah