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You either die a twink or live long enough to become the bear

@the-heaminator / the-heaminator.tumblr.com

Let there be crack. I am the Heam. Enjoy your stay. 18+

hiiiii! I'm heam, 20+

my brain has been mostly infested by House md lately but you bet your ass hetalia hasn't fully gone away. It's lurking.

pronouns, whatever lmao, go via vibe no wrong answers

Feel free to request art or writing! (TALK TO MEEEEEE) it may just take a while to respond because i am a person of bad time management and procrastination. SFW and NSFW are allowed (the latter is encouraged)

i do actively hornypost so be warned. There will be some level of kink on this blog so again, be warned. But im not your mum so idk

MY AO3 (comment and i'll kiss you on the lips, no homo(unless you want it))

How Intimidating Am I?

  • Send 🐹 for “You? Intimidating? Hell no.”
  • Send 🐰 for barely intimidating
  • Send 🐭 for slightly intimidating
  • Send 🐱 for moderately intimidating
  • Send 🦊 for fairly intimidating
  • Send 🐯 for very intimidating
  • Send 🐻 for “MOTHER OF GOD PLEASE DON’T EAT ME–”

Because I feel like kids of color don’t hear it enough: domestic abuse is not a part of your culture. 

A lot of us were raised with the idea that “its normal for wives/children to get hit! it helps them learn– only white folk don’t get beaten when they misbehave”. That’s not true, white people aren’t the only ones who deserve a safe and abuse free environment. Black and brown people can and do have loving families. 

If you’re in a situation where you are enduring abuse and people use your culture to justify it, I want you to know that what they’re telling you are lies.

The idea that nonwhite cultures are somehow based on abuse is so prevalent that my mandatory reporting abuse seminar had an entire section in it about how this is bullshit and we shouldn’t ignore abused indigenous kids.

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eerieeclipse25

^

Listen. Can they perhaps impregnate the triangle. Is the triangle fertile

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ok that's. q really good question actually.

there's this unpublished anatomy illustration of Bill that's been making the rounds, a cut page from TBOB iirc? and it's like. got a triangussy??? for obvious reasons there's no reproductive anatomy mentioned but come oaurnnnn.

you've heard of the fertile crescent, birthplace of humanity ... now get ready for the fertile triangle, birthplace of insanity. or somesuch...

goddamit heam. you always awaken the cracken.

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im sorry triangussy got me laughing for a solid 3 minutes. Dopamine powerful enough I made pancakes

Anyways. The fertile triangussy is the spawn point for a lot of the cryptids. Like, the big ancient ones, it's where insanity travels and infests

oh my god. heam. PREGONOMETRY.

the many many puns I could make with this idea. its so so fucking cursed. if this makes it into the gnightmare somehow it's gonna be your fault. you'll have to pay the gnomes some kind of relief fund.

Hirsch will be the other name on the fund. do not give that man a hole if you don't want people knocking him up it's as simple as that 💁

PUT IT ON THE GNIGHTMARE THE FREAKS THERE'LL LOVE IT.

As for repayment I have 12 spiders..dknt ask where I got them from

.will tang suffice for your geometric pregnancy

matt just fired half the remaining tumblr support staff lmao

from my sources adjacent to tumblr--from which i can spread rumors and insider information freely because i dont give a fuck about ever working in the tech sector--im hearing this round of firings was focused on purging the senior staff, and not just from support but from the entire remaining tumblr workforce. i'm hearing there are about 25 people left.

Listen. Can they perhaps impregnate the triangle. Is the triangle fertile

Avatar

ok that's. q really good question actually.

there's this unpublished anatomy illustration of Bill that's been making the rounds, a cut page from TBOB iirc? and it's like. got a triangussy??? for obvious reasons there's no reproductive anatomy mentioned but come oaurnnnn.

you've heard of the fertile crescent, birthplace of humanity ... now get ready for the fertile triangle, birthplace of insanity. or somesuch...

goddamit heam. you always awaken the cracken.

Avatar

im sorry triangussy got me laughing for a solid 3 minutes. Dopamine powerful enough I made pancakes

Anyways. The fertile triangussy is the spawn point for a lot of the cryptids. Like, the big ancient ones, it's where insanity travels and infests

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