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I'm like the joker but a muppet

@the-muppet-joker

It's Kermit all the way down Baby ((All Muppet, All Hole, All Pro Noun))
Greetings Homosapians.

Is there anyone there? Is anyone left on Tumblr? Tumb er dot com. Webbed site, hashtag! I am the JOKER! I AM THE JOKER! I AM THE JOKER! Hi Ho, Kermit the Frog, here! Muppet the Hole, here! Don't be so coy. You can call me Croaker! You can call me! Don't be so coy.

Kermit. Joker. Bro Strider. Adam. Vriska. Dark Eve. Jesus is sleeping. Applejack is awake.

♤♡◇♧

DNI:
  • The Muppet Joker. I am scared of what I have created and will close my eyes when posting from now on so I am not harmed by my own hubris
  • Emos and those who indulge in the Chemical Romance. You people are sick
  • Minors, people over 30, and people who are 25. That is the age of arrogance
  • People who have a gemini moon in their astrological chart. You people are sick
  • People who were raised Lutheran
  • Twitter users
  • Tumblr users
  • Testosterone users. Just kidding love you Trans Genders OwO glomps you :3
  • People who identify with either binary gender. It's 2025 grow up and be Nonby (Short for Non Binary)
  • Those of you who do not understand the intellectual depths of Homestuck or misunderstand its themes... looking at you Karkat x John shippers
  • Mr. Strange. You may look at my blog but only when I am offline. If I catch you being online at the same time as me... *I evil smile and you get scared* I'LL MUPPING KICK YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!

Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Are you scared? Heh.

Run while you can.
Here's a P S A :
Never trust your Landlord! I just showed my landlord Kermit x Joker erotica that I wrote myself, thinking that I could trust her to give me her thoughts in a calm and mature manner. After all, I have shown her a few poems in the past about what an absolute cunt I think she is, and she received these fairly well as they remind her of her dead husband who wrote her love poems or whatever. A lady who appreciates artistic writing, right? WRONG! Turns out, her stupid dead husband never wrote any Kermit x Joker erotica so she is unable to see any creative merit to it. After reading it, she told me to follow her and that she had to show me something. I trusted her, (LIKE AN IDIOT!), and followed her into the Asbestos Basement. 'What is it, Marsha?' I asked her. She had no answer for me as she was already booking it up the stairs away from me, basement keys in hand. This bitch locked me in the Asbestos Basement. Sad what America is coming to!
Why am I so nervous to show her my smut fanfic? I don't care what she thinks. I don't care if she thinks I am a freak like everyone else does when I show them my True Self.
I think I will show my Joker x Kermit smut fanfic to my stupid bitch of a Landlord Marsha. She always has some shit to say about the things I write. It will be good to show her uncultured ass what real art looks like.

Kermit hole WET Kermit hole SOGGY kermit hole HOT Kermit hole FROGGY Kermit hole PAINLESS Kermit hole NUMB Kermit hole HEARTACHE Kermit hole LUNGS Kermit hole LONELY Kermit hole AGED Kermit hole HOWLING Kermit hole RAGE

"Are you ready for your hormones, Kermit?"

Kermit was sitting on his lover's lap; they had been enjoying a nice evening in before his Clown Bride had interrupted their comfortable silence. He looked up in confusion.

"B-but Joker, I'm not due for my T shot for another week..."

Joker chuckled darkly. "You misheard me, darling," she murmured, "I said, Are You Ready For Your Whore Moans?"

♤♡◇♧

Kermit whimpered softly as he felt the long fingers of his lady love dance around his small, muppet frame, like elegant white spiders. She traced the edges of his quivering muppet hole and chuckled darkly, the rich velvet of her voice rolling through him in a shuddering wave. He was tied up, of course-- bound with one of the many handkerchiefs she had pulled from the sleeve of her suitjacket. Clowns are so fucking good at bondage, Kermit thought, but his thought was cut off sharply by Joker scissoring her fingers into the depths of his hole, clearly savoring the squelching of the wet felt.

"AHhhnnn~" Kermit moaned, like a slut.

"Gods, you moan like a slut," Joker chuckled darkly.

Joker was usually so difficult to read with her permanent killer smile, but it was clear how affected by the muppet's display she truly was. A shuddering, breathy quality had taken over her voice, causing even her signature laugh to waver as she explored her lover's Hole.

"Are you ready for the Whole Clown, my love?" Joker chuckled darkly.

Kermit flailed his arms, howling in anticipation. He was ready for the Whole Clown.

Joker leaned in close, gripping Kermit's felt sides, and growled into the side of his head where she presumed his ear to be (frogs do not have easily visible ears, but that does not mean they cannot hear you. They are listening. They are listening):

"Are you ready for me to fill up your Mussy?"

Kermit shuddered in arousal. "My what?"

"Your Mussy," Joker chuckled darkly.

Kermit stared at her.

"Muppet Pussy," she clarified. "I'm going to fill it with my Clock."

Lifting up Kermit, she lined up his entrance with her clock.  "That's Clown Cock," she chuckled darkly.

"Yeah, I got that--" Kermit began to say before being cut off by his own wanton moaning as Joker pulled him down onto her Whole Entire Clown and shook him up and down and up and down-- Egad! He was Bouncing On That Thang. Bouncing and moaning and squelching and shaking and crawling and growling sinisterly and screaming in absolute muppet pleasure as his arms flailed and shook in the air without control. Joker darkled chuckly.

"Fuck," she moaned all sexy, "I'm going to do my Joker Cum Blast."

"YES!" Cried Kermit, "PLEASE FILL ME UP WITH YOUR JOKER CUM BLAST!"

And she did.

She came inside his hole with chuckles, dark

The Joker's seed did Blast, til overflow

The Muppet bit her neck, it left a mark

And yet, the cum pressed on, it did not slow

A power hose of cum unleashed inside

Dear Kermit, pouring from his Mussy, green

Her Joker Blast had filled her up with pride

While Kermit's insides filled with cum, unseen

The floor, the walls, their skin, their clothes, their hair:

All cummied on, remained the loving pair ♡

I wish my skin was made of muppet felt so that when the Joker soaked me with his pee and slammed me into the wall the pee would be absorbed into my soft felt skin and make a satisfying SQUELCH upon contact... SIGH but probably not going to happen in Trump's America :(
Anonymous asked:

Do you ever soak Kermit in piss and slam him against the wall like the Hannah Montana milk pillow? 

Mmm... I had never even considered it... what an idea! Ooohh aaaaaahhnn I am becoming Boner just thinking about it! Heh I Know What I Will Be Doing For The Next 8-12 Hours *smirk*
Can Everyone Please Stop Shipping Batjokes It Is Very Triggering To Me As A Joker Kin.
Joker is literally in a committed relationship with Kermit the Frog and anyone who says otherwise disgusts me.

Kermit hole WET Kermit hole SOGGY kermit hole HOT Kermit hole FROGGY Kermit hole PAINLESS Kermit hole NUMB Kermit hole HEARTACHE Kermit hole LUNGS Kermit hole LONELY Kermit hole AGED Kermit hole HOWLING Kermit hole RAGE

Anonymous asked:

who is your favorite yellowjacket my liege ?

Misty Quigley. I understand her on a deep level that only those with an IQ in the highest percentile truly can
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