Silver Springs🐝

the most gut-wrenching viscerally upsetting line in the entire show is literally just van’s immediate, desperate, “i’m gonna try my mom!” not an emergency line, not even panic-dialing a 911 that wouldn’t work anyways. she’s a kid. she wants to call her mom.

And van doesn't even have a good relationship with her mom, the brief glimpse we get of it is actively hostile. But that doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day she's a scared girl who's instinct is 'I want my mom'

shauna saying she hates being called shipman is to me just the same as her saying she hates soccer. like no you dont. not really. you just associate both things with the person you loved so much you tore yourself apart over her and you've never been able to tell the difference between hatred and pain.

YELLOWJACKETS | Season 3, Episode 8, “A Normal, Boring Life”

rewatched episodes 13, 14, & 15 of acoc this weekend because i'm a sick freak (family ties, the ice cream temple, and then prep for the finale.) and there's this combo of the family continuing to push away Saccharina, Gooey telling her that she has a family that has chosen her, and then Saccharina tells Theo that Cinnamon is the first being who has ever loved her just for existing.

been thinking a lot about how sad that is and also how much that might hurt Gooey's feelings. Gooey is so ride or die for Saccharina, she's absolutely willing to do anything for Saccharina and Gooey's kind of invisible to her. It makes me soooo curious what their relationship started as. it feels inevitable to me that they were in love once and it ended, but how? why? does one of them still carry a torch for the other? have they both moved on? honestly? both of them seen emotionally unavailable & repressed and unable to have conversations about their feelings. they also both read as tops to me. was that an incompatibility? god i would read a whole novel just about the doomed sapphic love story of gooey and saccharina. a lost unknown princess and her right hand. rending my garments. they're so beautiful and sad to me.

Spent a lot of my drive home from work today thinking about the ways Ruby is similar to Amethar. Obviously the loss of her sister, being the youngest.

But the thing I really thought about was how Ruby was set up to be taking Lazuli's path, but Ruby never shows much interest in magic. Where it comes from, what it can do. She learns find familiar and uses fog cloud but she's not motivated to bring the strength of magic back to Candia. Jet is absolutely on board. This non-magical martial fighter Jet has these banned books and wants to know magic's place in the world and arcane trickster Ruby is totally content to use the bit of magic she has and never share it with her people. This cultivated resource that is what allows tiny Candia to stand a chance and she doesn't have any interest in spreading it.

She's just like Amethar. He takes the cola that Lazuli made for him, he takes the magic weapon, but he doesn't foster candian magic for his 20 years on the throne. He doesn't pick up Lazuli's research or find someone who can. He lets all of that knowledge, all of that effort languish for 20 years.

Theo gives an impassioned speech about how Lazuli sacrificed herself for the future of candian magic and Ruby isn't inspired by that. She doesn't say "I will pick up my aunt's work." she says "I don't want to read a book." She's just like Amethar. She takes the twizzling blade and she takes Yak and she takes sourscratch and is content to leave it there. To not live out her aunt's vision. To use mage hand to do trapeze tricks and to let candian magic end with her.

A Crown of Candy, you're just so rich and juicy and I can't stop thinking about you.

hmm must've been the wind

Smosh until dawn

good old time huh

shes looking at ayda