Pinned
Salutations fellow people, I am persuing the venture of world domination and would like to request your support
I accept donations in the form of advanced technology and experimental power sources
Please join me in cleansing this world in the flames of retribution that we may build a new one in its place
Why is there no man arching his back with his butt in the air emoji
back in my day we just typed orz to make a little stick figure man doing that (or we would type or2 to give him a dumptruck). And we LIKED it that way!
Taking notes 📝
i always click the "track package" button as soon as i get the email. "oh boy i wonder where my package is!" warehouse.
I feel like tariffing the "entire world" is literally just functionally sanctioning yourself
JDPON DON STANDS WITH THE ENTIRE WORLD AGAINST THE US MENACE!!! WE WILL UNITE THE GLOBE UNDER A RED BANNER AND SMASH THE TERROR OF THE UNITED STATES ONCE AND FOR ALL. COMMUNISM IS NOT LOVE! COMMUNISM IS A HAMMER, WHICH WE USE TO CRUSH THE ENEMY. 美国去死!!!!
lmfao
lol and lmao.
in the unexpected pregnancy fanfics. why don't they ever abort it. just for once
If a Girl is Sleepy (🥱) but not Cosy (🛏), she may reward you with a Bounty if you can provide her with a source of Cosy (🛏).
The Bounty is Girl Cuddles.
If you have billions of dollars it shouldn’t be a crime to steal from you. You’ve got enough money that your security should be your own responsibility and anyone who manages to swipe from your hoard deserves applause for besting a supervillain
Over a billion and you reach the social connotations that dragons have, as in stealing from you is considered a Challenge rather than a Crime
“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
I’m killing your parents before you’re born
Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.
Isn’t that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesn’t have to
No, an entitlement program is by definition one into which you pay in order to get benefits, to which you are entitled. Social Security and Medicare are textbook entitlement programs; this is a bunch of Democrats showing off how they are just as ignorant as the MAGA people they hate so much.
All my haters become aligators when I activate my gatorinator.
you laugh now, but when my gatorinator is ready, it's all over
update:
transmogrifying my haters into an animal that is known for something called the "death roll" has backfired in a manner no one could have forecasted
Having taken stock of the situation, it's not as bad as I originally thought. It's not like these crocodilians are an urgent problem, much less a representation of my own mortality. There's no ticking clock here.
well now you're just doing this on purpose
I think that's the highest tags forecast I have received so far.
Posts that have 100k gators to me.
Actually there are only 5 gators in my post, but it is an understandable mistake.
Now there are 100,005 gators on this post
...
You know what? Good job.
Other people said this post had thousands of notes in their mind, but only contributed two notes.
You? You said that it had 100k gators to you.
And then you did it.
+1 respect point.
now that's what i call a
gator aid
@stargazingdustbunny is a good alli
shoutout to all my people with invisible disabilities
shoutout to people who don’t feel disabled enough
shoutout to people who have been denied care because they don’t look disabled
shoutout to people who thug it out every single day because the world doesnt stop when you’re disabled no matter how much you wish it would
shoutout to people with no diagnosis but still have symptoms because you don’t need a diagnosis to have symptoms
shoutout to all my
people with invisible
disabilities
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
UM GUYS. I JUST NOTICED A CRAZY ISSUE W THE TUMBLR UPDATE.
YOU CAN SEE THE ICONS OF ANONS SOMETIMES.
The way I was able to recognize several anons in one of my inboxes bc of this error. Oh my god. Guys. This isn’t supposed to happen.
Weighing in to say:
The profile pictures I see next to anon asks are profile pictures that belong to other, non-anon asks in my ask box also. Some info
Which is still a bad bug! Considering it makes it look like a long-time follower of mine sent me a spam ask.
And is worse if, say, one of these was anon hate.
But it's NOT the anon's real identity. It's a neighboring ask asker's identity
So if you have anon hate in your inbox that looks like it's attributed to your dear friend, who sends you lovely asks all the time, it was Not them.
Thanks @thepatchycat for being a test subject. As you can see the icon being attributed to this ask is NOT the patchy cat
The pictured icon belongs to @watchingforcomets who sent me a nice ask about nail polish yesterday which I have not yet answered!
has 2025 been treating you well so far?
The scariest shit I see always comes from people who are quite confident that, being very loving, they could not be doing anything abusive.
