I wish Mythbusters was still around so we could see them fuck up a Cybertruck

Rocky Horror is turning 50 next month and people still act like being gay was invented by Ellen in 1997

But honestly! Renowned French poet Théophile de Viau wrote the poetic ode to King James titled "The Duke of Buckingham," containing the immortal lines "One man fucks Monsieur le Grand de Bellegarde/Another fucks the Comte de Tonnerre/And it is well known that the King of England/Fucks the Duke of Buckingham" exactly 400 years ago and people still act like being gay was invented by Oscar Wilde in 1890

Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep were buried together in the 25th century BC and people still act like being gay was invented by renowned French poet Théophile de Viau 400 years ago

Gilgamesh and Enkidu "loved each other like man and wife" in 2700 BC and ppl STILL act like being gay was invented by Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep in the 25th century BC

lug and grug T4T scissor in cave 2.5 million year ago

This is probably the most inclusive post ever made on Tumblr

“What country is this about?”

“Yes.”

Life hacks

ancient relics

…Childhood…It hurts…

This is what this post does to me.

@roninkairi

And they forgot to add this one?!

.🏹💕.

TIL In 1926 the famous pianist Fats Waller (then 21) was kidnapped by Al Capone’s gang to play piano for his birthday. He basically went missing for 3 days and was returned unharmed but drunk.

via reddit.com

What this headline leaves out is that they kidnapped him by doing the standard mob thing of driving a car up, pointing a gun at him, and saying “get in”. Fats thought he was gonna be killed until Al told him he was a huge fan

Unharmed, heavily intoxicated, and I believe something like $1,500 wealthier.

Nonono we don’t get to ignore what was just said prior. What the fuck DO YOU MEAN THE OPPOSITE OF YOUR MOTHER SELLING YOU TO ONE DIRECTION????!

so easily we forget the lore of our forefathers.

It bears noting that Fats being $1500 wealthier in 1926 dollars is the equivalent of being about $25,000 wealthier in 2022 dollars

back when criminals had a respect for the arts

woah mama maybe i'm the faggot america

the united states of america has declared war on affordable goods

This emoji is so good

the thing about working as a housekeeper is that sometimes I will be called to clean a room that is in such a state that it gives me pause.

The thing about being a housekeeper at a Hospital is that it is not the things that would usually be concerning that leave me with questions.

Like if I go clean a room and it is just covered in blood, I'm not all "where did all this blood come from" that would be silly. It came from inside the patient and they were already in a hospital so they're probably mostly fine hopefully.

In fact "Inside the patient" is where most of the potentially concerning stuff I have to deal with comes from. Vomit? That's from inside the patient. Urine? Feces? Inside the patient baby. Needles full of unidentified drugs? That was supposed to go inside the patient but I guess they frogot.

But when I go to clean a hospital room and it is full of Sand... Did that come from inside the patient? I hope not. Why is there so much sand? Where did it come from? Was there some kind of terrible beach accident?

I have many questions and I'm scared of the answers.

this is such a delightful pair of tags

Patient happened to be under the effect of the pharaohs curse at the time

[Image ID: tags reading “#unsanitary #but op will fix that”. End ID.]

moodboard for when your beloved mutual says something nice to you

Hugh Grant as William Thacker

Homo Sapiens boy together again with his Neanderthal girl on the first warm day of Spring

[Image ID: A young tanned man with dark hair is sitting up leaning against a tree, a young much paler woman with reddish-brown hair is lying with her head on his thigh, looking up at him. She's making a flower chain with tiny daisies. His arm is resting across the front of her shoulders. He's wearing a flower crown on his head, presumably made by her. His eyes are closed. They both look incredibly peaceful.]

This is.....niche. Do period-appropriate chickens even still exist? Idk anything about chickens. I like the fancy ones.

Period appropriate chickens ("heritage breeds") do still exist, and even include some very fancy ladies, such as:

The Brahma, a popular giant known for its massive meat production and comically large eggs.

The cochin, seen here with gold and black 'lace' pattern

The barred plymouth, an incredible forager for lightly wooded terrain

The fayoumi, often regarded as The Oldest Breed of chicken

The wyandotte, a particularly good forager as well as a bulky, meaty bird.

The Minorca, a Spanish bird with stunning black feathers

And of course, the famous indonesian ayam cemani, which has black meat and bones

Old timey chickens often ARE the 'fancy' ones!

I love this incredibly niche complaint! Get some heritage breeds, they do totally still exist. Same could likely be said about some other animals like pigs, sheep, and cows.

a few reminders because i’m tired and angry

feel free to add more

My train was late. AGAIN.