Ayeeee old hubands those cuties

I'm having such a busy time recently all the time but here have this quick drawing. Inspired by @corvidcujo 's post, palette "Pop Heart" by @seesawsiya , screenshot under the cut. Basically, drawn with a screen filter so I saw (more or less) the second, greyscale version. Very fun, try it out!

also drawn in paint bc krita decided to stop working >:(

Sending love! <3

Aziraphale was NEVER angry because of the kiss. He's scared.

This is him angry

Despite being a fucking cloud with a bowtie, he's very firm when he's angry. It's bluntly obvious. His tone deepens, his face changes, there's no mistaking it.

And here's him scared:

Again, it's obvious.

After the kiss:

He's terrified, not angry. He's terrified of losing Crowley. He's terrified that he actually enjoyed it. He's terrified of Crowley. He desperately wants to be with him, but he's terrified of what will happen for both of them.

incredible how much better a long walk makes me feel, mentally and physically, for something which i could do almost any day yet frequently choose not to

queer people who have done zero self reflection when they see someone who doesn't look fem in their space

ACTUALLY FUCKING THO

#the bioessentialism is gross and inescapable#‘oh i’m just not comfortable around this person bc i don’t know them!’#is that it? or is it that they’re masculine presenting and you only think of non-binary people as girl lite

When a fic doesn’t fit my head canons but it’s well-written

#he wouldn't fucking say that but i'm getting kind of attached to the guy you invented who did say that

like people are just going to keep saying “theyre only queer because they want to be/because it gets them off/because they think it’s fun/because they saw a queer person and thought it sounded like a good idea/etc. theyre gonna keep saying it

and we are going to have to stop desperately scrambling to say noooo, they have to be like that, they have no choice, they wouldn’t be like this if they didnt have to. we HAVE to stop falling all over ourselves assuring straight people and transphobes that we hate being us as much as they hate us being us, that we are suffering and that’s why we deserve this decadence and deviancy. we HAVE to start saying “yeah ok and?”

being queer is a delight. deviant sex makes people really happy. being genderfucky is joyful. queerness CAN actually be an option you can choose, and that doesn’t make it worth less than if you only picked it with a gun to your head, because it is a good option and there are good reasons to pick it.

THIS!!!!

every day i am percieved™️

There is a reason for this though!

The original tweet summarizes it pretty well. Fanfic tends to be popular among certain types of neurodivergent people (aka people most likely to read excessively as a child, and have burnout as an adult) for the same reasons that we tend to hyperfixate–neurochemical signaling (I hope I’m using that phrase correctly). What I mean is, for people who are really dependent on changes in dopamine/serotonin/neurotransmitter levels, who have low levels or wonky neural reward systems (perhaps the most common types of neurodivergence)…people like us rely on dependable external sources of those neurochemicals. In order to function, we spend a lot of our free time trying to level out our brain chemistry using things that can reliably bring us a steady stream of joyful moments (rewards) without costing too much of the mental effort that is already in short supply. 

significantly: the investment of reading has to be balanced with a steady “return on investment”–and this return has to start fairly quickly. because again, we don’t have a lot of attention/energy to invest on tiring things. we have perpetual “low batteries” in that regard.

that doesn’t mean these stories are “simple,” or that they lack complexity or value–only that the reward has to come in short regular intervals, and it has to have a low “upfront cost.” these stories are only “easy” to read in the sense that the effort we put into them is rewarded in a timely manner. which is why fanfic stories are so perfectly formulated for neurodivergent readers–they are often beautifully written, but skip a lot of the upfront costs (of introducing new characters, of world-building, of getting the audience emotionally connected to the story elements).

the nature of fanfiction is that the reader has a pre-existing relationship with this world and these characters. that–combined with the shorter average length of fics–means that fan fics very quickly start rewarding the reader in a way that traditional fiction struggles to. that’s not a bad thing! and maybe it’s something more traditionally published writers should be paying attention to.

Fanfic, as a genre, has been uniquely helpful and accessible to many neurodivergent readers who would otherwise struggle to immerse themselves in stories. I’m glad so many of you have found a way to love and enjoy reading again! The important thing is that you are spending time inside stories you love–the way those stories are published or presented to the world is just one detail. The fact that you find joy in the process of reading (or listening!) to stories–that is what matters.

I feel understood 🥰

a bunch of people have reblogged this with the default “i feel called out” reaction….and i know when we say that we mean it tongue-in-cheek….but this comment sorta blew my mind & shifted my perspective up and to the left a little thank you♥

The Serotonin is stored in the Ao3

I don’t feel called out. I just feel SEEN.

Crying.

@rainbowpopeworld this is the post I was talking about

@createserenity you might like it too?

Yeah this is definitely me!! I hadn’t seen this longer explanation, but it makes perfect sense! Thank you for sharing it💖💕💓

This might depend on your fandom, but for me it is all this, and also

Because when you talk voracious reading, for me it’s been often in life and I have read a lot.

And all of that reading was fine. It had plot and character and theme and symbolism and All the Things from Literature

But fanfiction focuses not exclusively but pretty tightly on intimacy (not just that kind) and relationship, and the nuances of relationship, and it’s safe and I know the people and care about them.

It’s not just the lack of effort, it’s that they are familiar and I like familiarity. It feels warm and safe. And so does the plot, no matter what it is, because I know who the characters are, and that they will try to do right and that they care about each other, which is even safer and more like a hug. The safety and familiarity are also pretty commonly enjoyed by neurodivergent people.

And then the stories focus so often on the closeness of the characters, and I may be an outlier, but there really isn’t that much of that sort of thing in my life. I don’t have Deep Conversation or meet people and instantly become friends, and many non-fanfiction stories reflect on what goes wrong in relationships. I know that. I can do all of those any day and feel the despair knowing my flaws and the flaws of the world. But a focus on nuance of relationship actually makes me think about how I could better approach real people, and in the meanwhile, when I go a week without any meaningful connection to people, that fictional intimacy and closeness, things I don’t have and need is lovely, like you are starving and can’t have a feast but someone is giving you an amazing snack of your choice and it will hold you over.

also if you get attached to a (set of) character(s), there might be one, or three, or several, published books by the original author, or some finite number of films or tv episodes. but you can have a new story or chapter every night on ao3, especially if it’s a biggish fandom. there is no way i could live long enough to finish my mark for later list, and it keeps getting longer.

My fanfic & other stories

I have been writing ...stuff these last 40 years or so, in many fandoms + some original stuff and a few collaborations. Some are large fandoms, like Star Trek or BBC Sherlock; others were large before being exterminated, like canon Rice Interview with the Vampire; others are smaller, like Brokeback Mountain, or niche, like Hamlet.

All this material is on a private website, including the older and frankly rather cringe bits, because I am still fond of them and of the thrill I felt when the ideas got hold of my pen. The home page is a list of links, ordered by category, so it should be easy enough to locate the fandom of one's interest.

I am planning to post on AO3 sooner or later, but so far time has been lacking.

Now @totallysilvergirl has encouraged me to begin by sharing my website, which is an honour, and a request I cannot deny! So, if any of you feels like having a look, this is the address:

mazaher.org

[Image ID: Tweet from nova (@/ comfyPill) on 3/6/25 reading: "you're so quiet" thanks! i actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me /End ID]

April Fools

The last day of March came and went, as usual, with no acknowledgement of John’s birthday.  And then the murders began.

John was awakened on the first of April by the sound of Sherlock’s feet pounding up the stairs, soon followed by the sound of Sherlock’s fist pounding on his door.

“Triple homicide, John!  Get dressed!”

“Do I have time for a shower?”

“Yes, but make it fast.  We have a train to catch.”

“Where to?”

“Brighton — I’ll explain on the way.”

Read the rest of April Fools on AO3, or below the cut.

Keep reading

AHHHHHHHHH THIS SOUNDS LIKE THE PERFECT DAY FOR REAAAAAAL

Sherlock fandom

Is it not Obvious?

For decades, almost my entire life, I’ve had to hide some parts of me. Mostly, to stay of out of trouble. I was good at it too. Still am, truth be told. Or so I believed. Until my nosy brother answered my question with one of his own.

“Is it not obvious?”

That got me thinking, and when I came back from my Mind Palace, Mycroft had left 221B.

Every comment regarding my relationship with John; sorry, friendship, has gone over my head. He answered them loud enough – “not gay!”

On more thorough inspection, those comments weren’t all wrong. Granted, we’ve never had a romantic or sexual relationship, but our friendship was, is, unique. Intense, possessive, easy, complicated, and filled with hidden emotions. The latter is the reason for the complications. 

Like I said, I am good at hiding parts of me I don’t wish exposed. That changed one January day when John Watson entered my life. My abilities to conceal my feelings, were thrown to the wind, and they have been quite difficult to reclaim.

I realised that John was hiding too. Not as well as I once did. His admiration for my deductions was instant, unshielded, honest. The way he looked at me then… I just wanted to…

My old man babygirl, I need to get better at drawing him

I don't remember drawing sad characters at least once)So catch the sad chibi Crowley 🥺