Chaos

Whenever i get sad I just think about sour cream baby and get smiled again

me when i log onto www.youtube.con

Me when i find out who killed the radio star

guy at urinal: AHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHUGGGGHHH!

guy next to him wearing wraparound shades talking into his Bluetooth: Yeah i’m peeing at a urinal right now. Yeah. The noise is the guy next to me. Yeah, he’s peeing too. Yeah. Peeing so hard he’s screaming

Name: Squeaky Hinge

Pronouns: he/her/he/her

Likes: Squeaking

Dislikes: WD-40

Edit: I *love* WD-40

i like sailing myths and superstitions because most of them can be boiled down to "if the ocean doesn't like you it will chew you up and spit out your bones. and if it really loves you it will swallow you whole and keep you forever. good luck 👍"

ohhh I’m so sleepy you’ll have to rip me apart with your bare hands

on it boss! *breaks alllllll of my fingers trying to pull you apart* bad news boss.

my weakest homonculus you have failed nme yet again

i love the phrase "which could mean nothing" i think its my favorite thing to come out of the internet ever i love saying it. it could mean nothing but we all know better. we know the truth.

excuse me, no I wasn't???

congratulations to today’s lucky 10000

writing historical fic set in real places is so scary. what if someone who knows more about Philadelphia's timeline to move from gas to electric streetlamps reads my fanfiction and laughs at me

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

"In the oldest version Hades kidnapped Persephone." Actually in the oldest version Hades didn't kidnap Persephone because Hades didn't exist yet.

The story of a nature godess losing her shit because her daughter ended up in the underworld and creating winter about it predates Hades existing in the records. Posiden was the underworld god before Hades and chances are with him in the role it was a straight-up custody battle. There's a story from Mycenaean Greece where Poseidon chases down Demeter while they're both horses and she gives birth to a horse daughter named Despoina (another name for Persephone). So in the older version the story likely would have been a father claiming his daughter and a mother fighting to get her back.

When Hades became the God of the Underworld and there was no longer that parental connection the story shifted to it being an arranged marriage without the mother's consent in order for the rest of it to work. The story isn't about Hades, hell it's barely about Persephone, he's just a catalyst for Demeter's story and the explanation for the changing of the seasons. He was slotted into a role that wasn't originally designed for him and has been getting shit for it ever since. Which is so fascinating since the Hymn to Demeter goes out of it's way to absolve Hades of the blame and puts it firmly on Zeus as the father of the bride who gave consent.

The story, as far as I can tell, has always been about a father violating a mother's right to her child and almost getting the world ended for it, Hades just got caught in the crossfire.

This is one of those true, declassified government things that always sounds made up but one of the things Henry Kissinger did with his career was use the CIA to help turn small, prosperous socialist nations into fascist dictatorships just to keep those nations powerless and possibly to keep socialist systems *looking* doomed and futile to the American public, like maybe just to scare Americans out of demanding better infrastructure or universal income. Yes it sounds like an insane conspiracy theory a maniac would invent. It also happened multiple times and several generations of people around the world are still living in misery because of it.

Remember folks, the two types of conspiracy theory are "Things the CIA or FBI has admitted to doing" and "Antisemitism"

absolutely enthralled by the idea that for turkeys, "investigate pretty shiny object" is a more innate instinct than "drink water to survive." Truly i may be a turkey at heart

When my brothers were younger I wanted to teach about misogynistic tropes in media without scaring them off by presenting the topic right out the gate as serious and aggressive and intimidating so I pointed out one day that movie dudes usually only ever have three motives- 1. Wife, 2. Daughter, 3. Dog.

And now whenever we watch a movie together and a dude character is about to reveal their angst backstory we take guesses if it’s gonna be 1, 2, or 3.

Which is specifically the most fun to do in bad B-list action movies because you can say “It’s a 1” as it starts and then ten minutes later the ham-fisted Macho Man Tough Guy quietly mentions being married once and you can put your hands in the air and go “AYYY IT WAS 1” like your team just scored a sportsball goal

Truthfully though I think we need more 3’s

forever impressed by people who when they're hyperfixating on a media or character come up with complex headcanons and analysis and make up scenarios with them. all my brain does is this for days on end

good dynamic: character who’s too deeply rooted to a fault + character who’s never been able to form roots anywhere before

yeahyeaheyaheyeahyeahyeahyeah

my 2022 highlight was when a guy was driving me home after a date and his phone was playing songs on youtube thru the aux on autoplay BUT he was also using it as a satnav so we had to just cope with whatever song came on. anyway we listened to the isolated vocals for "eye of the tiger" in silence because neither of us acknowledged it and it got to a certain point where it would be even weirder if one of us did say something

/edit: I realise a text post doesn't even do it justice, it went exactly like this

if you're curious there was no second date and I'm pretty sure it's 46% because of this

this post has really taken off more than i expected in recent years so actually I think I should reveal some extra lore, which is that this incident was sorta my fault. he gave me control of the music at the very start of the journey and I panicked and put on oingo boingo and the algorithm wasn't sure what the connective tissue between reggae (his usual favorite genre) and evil clown music is. so this track was it's best guess