never thought Disney would be bold enough to address the strain on Nick and Judy's relationship after the abortion

ok… imagine a moon knight and daredevil crossover where dd has no issues fighting the invisible jackals because the dude cant see shit anyway. moon knight is like “you can see them??” and matt, not wanting to reveal his blindness but having no idea theyre invisible, is just like “yeah i can see of course i can see”

moon knight then assumes dd is an avatar of an egyptian god. bc what else? so, naturally, moon knight asks “what god do you serve?”

“jesus”

“what??”

“im catholic?”

“what???”

Alien bf never knew there was even more love and affection to behold than what you had shown him and what he’s seen in the data archives found on their ships computers. But ever since he discovered sex and what it felt like to be so deeply connected to you he had turned into a fiend.

If you thought he was taking up all your time before, you literally cannot take a breath without him sliding up behind you and gathering you in his giant arms. Picking up your plush body with ease and molding it against his hard frame.

He carries you everywhere to the point where you often forget the last time your feet have touched the ground. The rest of your crew looks over at you in pity but you honestly can’t find it in yourself to complain. He views you as his mate, it only makes sense to want to do these things for you.

You can’t even delude yourself into thinking it’s innocent anymore. He knows what he’s doing, especially since he was caught watching porn with a hand around his cock. Moaning your name loud enough for someone to think he was calling for help. And he loves it. Making you squirm as he shamelessly feels you up. Soft chirps leaving him as he noses at your cute blush.

But his favorite noises from you come when he’s gotten six or seven orgasms out of your pretty cunt. Making a total mess of his throbbing cock that’s been wrecking you for hours. Fucking you stupid to the point where you forget your own language and start letting out the familiar clicks of his species.

His clawed fingers curl around your waist, using you like a fleshlight as he slams back down on his cock at a brutal pace. Meeting his own thrusts to hammer up into you even harder. Those lovely clicks that sing your pleasure pierce the air and your pussy pulses around his thick girth.

It brings him more satisfaction than he can express. Above all he relishes in the fact that there’s no doubt by now that your crew knows what’s going on in just the next wing of the ship. That’s right. You’re taken and no human cock could ever compare to what he can give you.

“Louder, sweet mate. L-let them, unngh, let them hear how good I make you feel. Need them to know you’re mine,” he growls, his cock twitching inside you and hitting that spot that has you seeing stars.

You cry out loudly, not wanting to admit how good his possession over you feels. Now that you know it’s intentional it makes it all a million times hotter. You’d be embarrassed by the loud squelch that echos with each thrust if you weren’t so unbearably needy, even after coming so much already.

The coil in your belly tightens so hard you fear you’re about to burst. And the second it snaps your releasing streams of your orgasm all over your Alien bf’s huge lap, soaking his lower half entirely. He only lasts for a few more thrusts before he’s burying himself inside you and splashing buckets of cum into your eager cunt.

He keeps you firmly on his lap, your bodies still deeply joined long after he grows soft again. Both of you panting heavily. His breath ghosts across your burning skin as he nuzzles into you, showing no signs of letting go any time soon.

It won’t take much to get him going again. So you take advantage of the break for as long as you can. Trying to ignore the way your pussy flutters as if trying to get him hard again. You can’t control it, he’s turned you into as much of a sex fiend as he is.

Reaching behind you, you brush your hand against your bfs large cheek until you’re weaving your fingers in his long silky hair. A deep purr rumbles from his chest and he leans contently into your touch.

“You’ve gotten pretty good at this whole human intimacy thing. Is there anything else you want to learn?” You ask teasingly, every inch of your body humming with satisfaction.

But of course he takes your words seriously. Perhaps humor will be next up on the list of lessons to get through. Something to think about perhaps when his cock isn’t creating a bulge in your soft belly.

“I wish to learn everything… so long as it’s you teaching it to me, my mate.”

Though all thoughts of lessons and teachings fly out the window when you feel his long thick fingers slowly making their way down to your swollen puffy clit. That he finds with ease by the way. Your bf already growing needy for you again.

What a wonderful way to start a day

So I currently have the flu and I just can’t stop imagining how funny it would be to have a Vampire bf look after you.

Specifically, Army Medic Vampire bf who was a medic during the First World War for Great Britain. He was by no means a professional of any kind. He honestly kind of sucked. But he did it because he had to.

Now he has you, his sick mortal lover, and he’s getting war flashbacks.

You lay on the bed, looking like you’ve been through war yourself. Your nose all red and your lips chapped. Body so achy it’s almost as if you were lifeless. Luckily he knows that’s not the case as you jerk forward and blow your nose, the sound akin to a cannon firing.

Army Medic Vampire bf lays with you on the bed, his cold body helping to cool down your fiery fever. He brushes his hand along your damp forehead and through your hair and you sigh in a brief relief.

“Ahh, this takes me back,” he says wistfully.

You curl your lip at him before wincing as any movement to your face aches. So you don’t even try and melt back into your boyfriend.

“To what?” You ask, nose so stuffed he can barely make out your question.

“To the sounds of my comrades dying,” he replies bluntly.

You gasp harshly and weakly try and smack at his chest but it hurts you more than it does him. And the action throws you into another one of your countless coughing fits.

Army Medic Vampire bf shushes you gently, bringing you into his arms. Making sure every inch of you is molded against him. He can feel the heat of your skin and worry swells inside of him.

“I’ve got you, my heart. Die easy knowing you were loved.”

You roll your eyes, your bf ever the dramatic one. But you don’t try and move away, his skin feeling way too good right now.

“Oh my god, I’m not dying,” You try and explain to him again for the umpteenth time. He stills against you, considering your words as if it’s the first time he’s heard them.

“Are you not? People perish from the flu all the time,” he asks, sounding genuine enough. He doesn’t go out in human civilization much anymore to know the difference. In his time people left this world due to much smaller things than the flu.

“Well not me,” you reply stubbornly.

A long silence falls over the two of you while you focus on trying to calm back down and he thinks over your words. You may make this claim but you can’t be certain. And if this sickness does not steal you from him then perhaps the next one will. He figures it’s a risk he can no longer take. He failed to safe people before but now he can ensure another sickness will never touch you.

“Hmm, well when you are better I shall turn you and make you forever mine. You’ll never have to suffer from this again,” he says reverently, his voice shockingly tender as his true worry for you shines through.

He squeezes you tightly in his arms, not daring to let you go. He’s lost many people in his human life and his vampiric one.

But the one person he refuses to lose is you.

May I just hug him, please? OSCAR ISAAC as Steven Grant Moon Knight (2022) Episode 1: The Goldfish Problem

the sluttiest thing a man can do is ask to use ur vibrator on you

Some Scenes From a Marriage details that I love and they drive me crazy (not including ep 5 because it doesn't exist to me <3)

2. In episode 1 we see Jonathan and Mira's nighttime routine. As part of that routine, Jonathan removes his watch

Then once we get to episode 2 and Mira tells him about the affair, and their "perfect" marriage image is shattered, there's this shot of them waking up in the morning and what stands out the most (to me) is Jonathan's watch that he never removed because of the hectic night before

3. Mira's brief smirk that she does almost every time she manipulates or sneakily mocks Jonathan, despite trying to appear upset. (almost feels like a duper's delight smile//The duper's delight is an emotional boost, or thrill, that some people get when they successfully cheat or deceive another person or organization.)

Like in this scene, where Mira reveals the affair and once she begins to describe Poli, she says "he's not an intellectual, not someone you'd think highly of..." and she fucking smirks (Jessica is an amazing actress)

It's the one in the middle and her expression changes so fast

Mira does it again in episode 2 when talking about how her affair started and instead of taking accountability, she's seemingly blaming Jonathan and making him feel guilty by saying how starting the affair with Poli was liberating... Notice how she always covers these brief little smirks with her fingers and a pout or shocked expression after?

4. This one is not a subtle detail at all. Still, I can't stop thinking about how they both change and mirror each other in different episodes, like how Jonathan couldn't let Mira go in episode 2. Then once Jonathan was finally over her, Mira couldn't let him go in episode 4.

5. The green couch

The show opens with them sitting on this green couch, being interviewed for having a strong monogamous relationship that the student can use for her research. It all starts off so well, and they're sitting on that green couch.

In episode 3, when Jonathan has lived without Mira in the house for a while, he changes the place of the green couch and gets a grey IKEA sofa that's comfortable to sit on. Mira sees it and immediately mocks it, asking why Jonathan didn't ask her for help to pick a couch, completely insensitive to the fact that Jonathan did something for himself. Also, it doesn't go unnoticed that the green couch is on the opposite of the comfy grey sofa

Once again we see that couch in episode 4, when they're going through the furniture because of their divorce settlement and Jonathan's move.

They have a tiny conflict about who gets the green couch in the settlement, even though in the previous episode Mira went on to explain how getting attached to furniture fucks up things for everyone and she doesn't care about that or where she lives etc

Then they fuck on the couch, which Jonathan claims he did to prove to himself he no longer cared about Mira like that.

This green couch really is a symbol of their marriage and when combined with the IKEA couch, it's like they both symbolised their personalities.

6. Speaking of differences and opposites...

Obviously, people in marriages and relationships can have different things, but it stuck out to me that they had completely different toothbrushes. The toothbrushing scene felt really long as well, and I can't help but feel that the differences were intentional.

This shot where Mira is crying and Jonathan comforts her, although she has hurt him.

The bedside light is turned on on Jonathan's side but not on Mira's side and I love the light and dark, this imbalance energy it gives off. Not only that but how one door is open and the other is closed.

Jonathan drinks white wine while Mira has a glass of red wine

Not only that, but Jonathan is the only one with white wine. Everyone else has red wine and Kate and Peter end up betraying Jonathan too by taking Mira's side and keeping the truth about Mira's cheating from their "friend" Jonathan

They've been together for 12 years and appear as such a good strong couple, yet when asked about their pronouns for the interview, Jonathan can answer immediately but Mira seems confused and struggles to answer.

Like what do they talk about?? A few minutes later she makes jokes about how Jonathan loves to talk about his little theories, as if she doesn't care to listen to him ever. Sure, you could argue her mind was elsewhere but still. It's like they're on completely different pages

7. When Mira is talking about how she used to have power over Ackerman and other people when she was "young" and "desirous" and being able to steer them in whatever direction she wanted, the camera focuses on Jonathan instead of her. It's so good because she says all that while it finally clicks in Jonathan's head that he doesn't feel anything anymore

She even seems proud that she's been able to manipulate people ???

8. When they cheer, Mira cheers with a wine glass, brings it near her mouth as if to take a sip but then takes a sip of water, all before revealing the pregnancy later in that episode. No one noticed.

Might do a part 2 because this show lives in my head rent-free.

Also totally random and probably overanalyzing it, but notice how in the first moments of the first episode, Mira's side of the scene is neat and tidy and Jonathan's side is a bit messy with toys etc

Then there's a glass of water in the middle of them and it's either half full or half empty, depending on who you ask

and only one side of the front yard landscaping seems to have flowers (or weeds?) and the cars aren't facing each other in the driveway

The Date

why are you dong this to me

Happy April 1st!!!

Thank you to the talented, amazing, wonderful mods on the server for hosting this event! @ominoose @winniethewife @midgardian-witch

Chuck Tingle is an amazing person. I love his vibe more than words can say. If you know Chuck's work, this story makes sense. If you don't...

Contents: GAY SEX

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Leto hates the desert wasteland of Arrakis. The Emperor’s plot to have him killed, with the Harkonnens as his weapon, is working. Leto can think of no way to stop them.

The Fremen might yet be allies, but time is running short.

His one pleasure in life is inspecting the spice fields himself, piloting his own ornithopter. Its controls are rigid and cold, just like he tries to appear.

Inside, however, Leto’s in almost constant turmoil, desperately trying to solve a problem to which it seems his death is the only solution.

The day is warm.

The sand is spicy.

Leto sees the almost sensual wave under the dunes that indicates a sandworm attack.

those hips be do anything but lie baby

THE MULLET?!

where do you even get googly eyes this big

why is tumblr always looking different?

i'm squinting at the desktop site like... the color? the icon? the... something????

everything is so wrong, especially the sizes of everything im almost convinced my dad changed my phone setting tbh

Yeah, you been in this business as long as I have, you develop a nose for hanky-panky. OSCAR ISAAC as Bud Cooper SUBURBICON (2017) dir. George Clooney