the murder scene

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

my radical belief is that the disabled and the elderly should be paid at least the average cost of living, regardless of the life they lived. regardless if they ever worked or what work they did or if they were responsible with their choices in life or not

this is my litmus test opinion lol theres more to it but depending on how much someone agrees with it tells me how much theyre worth talking to

Ask not for whom poob has it. It has it for thee

LGBT people, I need you to know that any “pedophile execution bill” passed in the US is meant to put you, personally, to death. When the right says “groomer,” they’re talking about you. When they say “predator,” they’re talking about you. When they say “pedophile,” they’re talking about you. Any actual child sex abusers who are convicted and executed would be, to them, a happy accident, a cherry on top of a law that’s meant to exterminate anyone who deviates from the cisgender, heterosexual norm.

"but they can't possibly think we're all really child molesters"

if you haven't already figured out that facts don't matter to these people I don't know what to tell you

If you create a group of people that you are legally allowed to hurt and kill, then those in power are going to do anything they can to make sure those they dislike are seen as part of the "okay to hurt and kill" group, it's not a hard to understand concept.

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

what are you waiting for? someone to grant you permission? the perfect and permanent emotion? a shooting star to magic away every problem you have or ever have had? alright, wait away then. but no one is going to live your life for you while you wait to become someone else

archers gloves vs digital artist gloves being opposite of one another

Much like how archers and digital artists are mortal enemies

Behold, the digital artchery glove!

….but Wait…

…….!!!

FUCKA YOUUU!!!!!

Ok but wgat if we held hands…..

and we both had carpal tunnel syndrome 😳

not carpal tunnel syndrome 😫

this website really has ruined me… i didnt catch the G, so i spent like 4 minutes scouring the second pic for thee Lucky Luciano 😭

hand in unglovable hand

You all disappoint me. Not one (1) drawing of a personified tumblr mourning the lifeless corpse of 4chan? Not ome? They were our rivals you sick fucks. Nary a whiff of 1 (one) fix-it AU? Im going to hibernate now..youve pirssed me off

A sweet interaction on the knitting Reddit

you... made accessibility gear for a cat. I LOVE this. 10/10. Improving the life of a family member via your skill!

does anyone else feel me. can anyone hear me in here.

do you see the issue now

baking with my mama

Baking with my mama 🍞🥖🥐

always remember gay men are the reason we dont have to pay for public bathrooms in canada

WAIT HUH??? IM CANADIAN????? WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARS ABOUT THIS UNTIL NOW??????

two gay men got arrested for fucking in a public bathroom but they argued since you had to pay for it it was a hotel and it was fine. their defence worked and we dont have to pay for bathrooms anymore

Ok guys I know we want to celebrate victories in queer history but

1. Googling "Canada gay sex pay toilets" just brings up a bunch of reblogs of this post

2. There does not seem to have been any sort of norm of public toilets in Canada charging money to use in the 20th century

3. I am neither Canadian nor a lawyer but I find it extremely hard to believe that there is any jurisdiction on earth where charging money to use a public toilet makes it legally constitute a hotel room and therefore OK to have sex in.

thats because i lied about this

i love 90s television all these high quality fabrics got me so turned on i almost passed out

Thank You For Validating Me

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

OP I want you to know I think of this post every single time I have to wash a spoon.

they should invent a grief that doesn’t define you in new and strange ways for the rest of your life