hear me out…

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

idgaf if my parents are disappointed in me I'm not impressed by them either

i went to the aquarium the other week and hand to god every single seahorse was pregnant. it was like ao3 in there

Tumblr isn't giving us back the boops for ides of march so I will do it myself.

Get your boops everyone!!!

I just put these together real quick feel free to use them.

Happy Holidays! Don't forget to grab a knife :)

Okay here's how I think it's gonna go.

Homelander opens soldier boys tube thing and soldier boy says "fuck you fuck nuts you're a fucking pussy, I'm gonna visit an old... Friend" soldier boy then runs out of the big military building they keep him in (still naked btw) and then he knocks out a guard wearing jeans and a work shirt over a grey t shirt and steals his clothes and shaves so they can't tell it's him, he then runs to the parking garage where all the government agents park for work and put of every car he breaks into and hotwires a black 67 impala.

When he turns on the radio it's playing carry on wayward son by Kansas and then he drives to wherever Misha's character lives and when he gets there he knocks on the door all nervous and Misha opens the door wearing a trenchcoat over a suit with a blue tie before saying in a very raspy voice "hello dean" revealing that soldier boys real name is Dean they then lock eyes for a second before making out and having hot passionate gay sex for the rest of the episode until in the last 30 seconds Jared walks in and says "hey so get this, according to the lore"

every overthinker should have someone to fuck them stupid

Lately, I've been thinking about this a lot. Maybe even too much.

angels are watching over you or something

interview tomorrow mamas gonna be a barista and if the interview doesn't go well im gonna start posting traumacore edits of biggby coffee

Maji ya Fisi boy with his younger sibling in 2023; they are the offspring of the Black Rock Males. Photographed in the Masai Mara, Kenya by Anirudh Laxmipathy.

likes to charge, reblogs to cast

#i’d rather he physically get sliced in half. but this is kind of nice

being a female knight fucking sucks. every squire boy i get turns out to be an adult woman with short hair who's just in it to sensually strap my armor to me. CHOP CHOP bitch the French are trying to sack our castle!

You can only reblog this today.

waaaaaaa

Thinking about how Anakin canonically both touched grass and got laid and was still Like That.

he was even at the club! and yet

I remember during puberty talk in 6th grade they handed out permission slips for parents to sign if they didn’t want their kids getting sex ed and like five students ended up having to wait in the library while the rest of us learned about puberty and health stuff.

Afterwards during lunch recess almost everyone in class spent our time telling those five kids what we learned and showing them our handouts.

vaginal infections, utis, and extreme ph imbalances are no fucking joke. please wash your goddamn hands before you stick your fingers in someone

if i pick up the vibe that i’m gonna fuck someone, i’m like “be right back :)” and i go and i wash my hands. if i can’t do it at that moment, then i’m not putting my fingers in them because i have no fucking idea what their body may or may not be sensitive to and i certainly would not have been keeping track of everything i have or haven’t touched since the last time i washed them.

just because your hands aren’t visibly dirty doesn’t mean the bacteria you carry around from touching your phone, random objects, other people, and yourself won’t be 100% passed to that other person and upset their reproductive ecosystem of bacteria. be conscious of others. wash your fucking hands

Certified Sex Ed Post!

reading nabokov is maddening because his writing is so playful and evocative and effortless and english isn't even his first language. he's doing things in a second language most people could spend their lives trying and failing to replicate in their first language. makes me feel like this

"my very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning) when i was three" like come ON how did you write the funniest sentence ever by adding a two word parenthetical. leave something for the rest of us