last night's session. my elven druid takes advantage of her 4 hour trance and goes foraging at night. i roll a nat 1 and get lost in the jungle. eventually the ranger on watch wakes up the npc guide to get her to find my druid. dm rolls a nat 1 so the guide gets lost as well. finally the ranger wakes up the rest of the party to go looking too but rolls with disadvantage cause she's hauling two fighters with no darkvision. rolls a 1 and a 3. the entire party walks around the zombie infested jungle for the rest of the night trying to find each other. somehow our table managed to make the tomb of annihilation a buddy comedy.

i like working at plant store. sometimes you ring up someone and there's a slug on their plant and so you're like "Oh haha you've got a friend there let me get that for you" and you put the slug on your hand for safekeeping but then its really busy and you dont have time to take the slug outside before the next customer in line so you just have a slug chilling on your hand for 15 minutes. really makes you feel at peace with nature. also it means sometimes i get to say my favorite line which is "would you like this free slug with your purchase"

@holyknuckled you get it. lterally what are we here on earth for if not to occasionally impose gastropods upon unsuspecting customers. this story is delightful

@holyknuckled like that?

oh? my god???

yeah, Exactly like that

he just wanted to cuddle

Just checking!

Update from the man himself

The Porn Guy aka The Nice Guy aka The Canadian side of Pornhub aka SFW Pornhub’s REAL NAME is Ryan Creamer. No joke, that is legit his real name.

Also this.

Which led him to this.

Bless this man.

I can appreciate him and the service he’s providing independently of the shitshow that is the platform he’s hosted on.

He remains just as funny and weird on other platforms dw

By the way, the topic he was presenting was

‘Can I get an Honorary Degree if I Just Ask Really Nicely’

poob is rolling back its DEI initiatives. poob fired all of its employees after they tried to unionize. poob's ceo was recently on david sperm's podcast saying that he thinks women are the same as dogs to him. but poob is the only service that has candyworld chronicles on it so its really hard to just stop using it :/

my "i love nuance" t shirt is raising a lot of questions but no one is liking how long my answers are

This website is so so so good

#i mean the boring answer is that many people go to college here and experience the epic highs and lows of being late teens early 20s. #the less boring answer is it's the molasses curse ( @burins)

This is just very funny to me.

Not even his robot child likes him

blackout sober

What being on fucked up prescription meds is like

GIRLIES WHATTTTTTTTTTTT!