I pray that your hole is shut forever

where’s the rupaul tweet about stop constantly crucifying yourself we could use the wood…… did unfortunately scalp the shit out of me with that

I guess the moral of the story is that the $15 pc indie game reigns supreme at the end of the day

my mum was googling for an article about why everyone in the lord of the rings film is white (like to be clear she was annoyed by this) and the google ai was apparently like “everybody in the lord of the rings is not white. gandalf is grey.”

perfectly preserved amber fossil of a fairy crossing her arms and pouting

if tumblr shuts down you can find me bleeding out in a ditch

bad news for chocolate lovers: amid massive corporate downsizing, Lindt has had to euthanize 2,000 of its handsome european chocolate chefs . an additional 1,300 will be thrown out in the cold with nothing but their stupid Fucking whisks

Pro tip! If someone ever says they would fuck their own clone, you can make the conversation different by saying you'd also fuck their clone.

do y'all remember when they found all that tf art in Osamu Tezuka's drawer post-mortem because I think about it often

anyway keep chasing your bliss and draw weird shit, god knows we need that right now

i think we shouod terraform earth to make it completely flat because itd be fun

i meant completely smooth but flat it actuwlly funnier

new flat earth thearoy: we could do it

Let’s say you bought a really cool cat bed. It’s part bed and part tunnel. Now let’s say, hypothetically, that you had a little man who didn’t want to take his medicine

I don't remember what you said but for the rest of my life I will remember the car window was rolled down when you said it.

The biggest misconception in public schools is that literary analysis is about proving you can be right or wrong about a book you read

Literary analysis isn’t about the book

It’s not even about being right

It’s about performing an investigation and presenting your case to the jury

It doesn’t matter if your defendant killed that guy or not. If you can convince the jury he didn’t, you’ve won

And the incredible life skill of spinning bulletproof bullshit out your ass with a handful of facts and a prayer is soooooooo much more valuable than anyone’s ever gonna tell you

If the average tweenager knew that good media analysis meant you could force your English teacher to admit that fuckin- (rolls dice) What’s Eating Gilber Grape is a metaphor for (rolls dice again) Why the crack cocaine epidemic is good actually- we would have far better literacy and critical thinking skills as a nation. And I stand by that

You could develop the magical psychic and illusory power to force the middle aged bitchfuck who makes you raise your hand and beg for permission to take a shit accept the premise that Cocomelon is a subversive and scathing artistic commentary on the pitfalls of modern democracy. Chat GPT essay engines are stealing this from you

I’m crying my beautiful husband has wrapped the most limp wristed pathetic sickly blunt in the world

How

-2 grams of weed in this bad boy. you smoke this and you get less high

it’s not a blunt it’s a sharp

you light this and it shatters and explodes like a prince ruperts drop

ive tried watching porn and its just not feasible

it didnt even make me genuinely afraid it was just cheap jumpscares

over-psychoanalyzing blorbos is healthy and needed enrichment for the girlies in order to avoid over-psychoanalyzing themselves. like giving a dog a chew toy in order to redirect chewing on its hind legs

"Am I bad for resenting well-meaning displays of affection? Am I evil for lashing out at people close to me instead of the powers that be?" No. That's Sasuke. Be safe out there

"You were in my dreams last night" yeah our souls have been clawing through our chests to get to each other since we met but I'm glad you noticed