I can never leave Tumblr because after years of sporadic therapy utterly failed to even approach the core of my problem some random tumblr user was like “I processed my trauma by writing a 10,000 word work of filthy fanfic erotica” and I was like “fuck it I’ve tried everything else” and now I’m 17 chapters and 20,000 words deep into an unpublishable work of obscenity and after careful literary analysis with one of the Beloved Mutuals I have come to some Terrible Revelations about my childhood and may now continue the process of Healing. Where else am I supposed to get this kind of experience. Who does this. Why are we like this. I’m never leaving. I love y’all.

”this file type is not supported” umm grow up?

take a hit

where the hell are my pneumatic tubes this is not the future jules verne promised

i do not want 'email' i want little brass capsules that go "shwump"

To anyone who thinks this would be innefficient: I cannot tell you how much more I would get done if i got to put my finished documents in a shwump pill and feed it to The Tube instead of attaching it to an email.

I hope this pneumatic tube capsule finds you well.

terribly charmed by my sibling sending me a voice message that just said “i just always take ibuprofen at the wrong time. i had a headache all afternoon, from three to eight pm and then i took an ibuprofen half an hour before the headache went away! i could have just saved an ibuprofen!”

Born to don't wanna. Forced to gotta

From a non-vulcan perspective, the Jim/Spock relationship is much like Gomez and Morticia Addams. From a Vulcan perspective, their relationship is more like Jessica and Roger Rabbit.

i love you. im pregnant and its toys

what the fuck does that mean. stop. dont fucking say that

ok. gettibg an abortion and its you

For anyone wondering, Blockhead and conehead are terms used to describe the skull shape of golden retrievers. This baby is a blockhead but to anyone unfamiliar, it sounds like the reddit op is asking if this puppy is going to be an idiot.

Goldens have two main head types, Block and Cone (sometimes called slender but I digress). Blockheads have the big blocky heads and coneheads are more pointy. Two examples below.

As far as I'm aware, its just an aesthetic thing and has no impact on their health.

TLDR: your mama so blockhead she minecraft steve

Fan art

"when i was your age, i was working three jobs to help support my family" and "when i was in college i was sleeping on a mattress on the floor and living off of soup"

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DO THAT. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO DO THAT. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN TO YOU THAT THIS ISN'T A CHARACTER-BUILDING LESSON, IT'S JUST BAD

When someone says stuff like this, I really enjoy looking them dead in the eye and saying “I’m so sorry you had to do that. It sounds really hard and I wish I’d been there to help.” Completely takes the wind outta their sails.

TIL Dr. Sigmund Freud was addicted to smoking and failed to quit for good throughout a 45 years long battle that included 33 operations for cancer of the jaw, an artificial jaw replacement, and attacks of “tobacco angina” exacerbated by nicotine . He was known to smoke up to twenty cigars a day.

via reddit.com

Jesus ffucking christ bro.

Seems like he had an oral fixation… Almost as if he were replacing the cigarette with… No i shant say…

Then we’ll all say it together

F

O

R

F

R

O

D

O

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

he literally did in the fourth one when he's asked if he likes cars more than women

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

i have a rare form of synesthesia where i can hear music

you literally either get it or you gont

Why does this always have to be me.