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barbie

@venom0usbarbie / venom0usbarbie.tumblr.com

writer, unhinged, tired, poetic chaos. she/her

Below is a list of all my available works on AO3.

Five of these works have been translated (one in Mandarin, four in Russian) and the link to the translation is available in the AO3 summaries. This includes the following: The Hunt, The Haunting of Pavenham Manor, Aureate Illusion, Killing and Other Mundane Activities, and His silver skin laced with his golden blood.

The Hunt

Pairings: Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger & Theodore Nott/Hermione Granger

Status: WIP - 11/16 chapters available, 97.3K

Rating: E (for sexual content, violence, gore and general themes)

Summary: “Wand thieves, Mudbloods and vermin, See how they run. See how they run. They all ran after the farmer’s wife, And cut off her magic with a carvin’ knife. We wait in anticipation, For the Terror to bring their annihilation.

A shadow monster, A fugitive Hermione, and the two Slytherins who make a bid to save her.

Vibes: 17th century horror, class struggles, dark fantasy, violence and despair, Catholic imagery

The Haunting of Pavenham Manor

Pairing: Pansy Parkinson/Hermione Granger

Status: Complete, 10.1k

Rating: E (for sexual content, violence, gore and general themes)

Summary: Her dead mother had asked her to return. To witness their past in Pavenham Manor with fresh eyes—those of the woman she had become, and not the child she once was. Pansy dreaded the delusions, the mania that seemed to overcome her mother eighteen years ago—but the estate was within her reach, so close she could touch it, feel it. So she agreed. To put the past behind her once and for all, to learn to forgive her mother, to forgive herself. It was unfortunate that, within the walls of their once summer home, lurked a presence that Pansy would rather have forgotten. One who would awaken in her the most deep-seated terror.

Vibes: 1960s, horror, twisted love, dead dove, supernatural, poetic horror, ghosts

ex nihilo

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Sirius Black

Status: WIP - 6/10 chapters available, 25.7k

Rating: E (for sexual content)

Summary: Ex nihilo. Creation from nothing, from pockets of air, from bits of nothing tossed into the void. Hermione looks at the Veil and wonders. Wonders about life coming from nowhere. No, she decides, it has to come from somewhere. She thinks of summoning life from where it previously existed. Serpent Sortia. The serpent collected from its den. Avis. The birds called away from their flock. Sirius Black brought back from beyond the Veil. Life returned to where it rightfully belongs. Creation from chaos. Hermione has to try.

Vibes: 1970s, moral conundrums, pining, time travel, bittersweet

a deadly obsession

Pairing: Pansy Parkinson/Harry Potter

Status: Complete, 3.5k

Rating: M (for themes)

Summary: Pansy Parkinson is a cold-blooded assassin. The best in town, if the rumours are to be believed. But when she’s hired to murder Harry Potter, by all accounts an ordinary man, Pansy commits a series of mistakes she can never come back from.

Vibes: 1920s, Christmas, doomed love, murder(s), flowers, assassins, jealousy and obsession

Won first place in the Harry Potter Fanfiction Club November 2021 drabble challenge

copper and titanium storms

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy

Status: Complete, 11.1k

Rating: T

Summary: Darkness lurks. It seeps within the fabric of its roots, lying in wait for its moment to come, for the light to strike it and let it out of its cage. It roams the very grounds it was built on, tightening the coil of its presence around the necks of its victims, of those it intends to use as its puppets. It tugs at the strings of the smallest opportunity, should it come by choice or accident. Beneath the shadows, on nights where storms strike, Hermione and Draco find themselves at odds with the mysteries residing in the bowels of the castle.

Vibes: secrets, storms, monsters, mystery, horror, Hogwarts eighth year

Hiraeth

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Sirius Black

Status: Complete, 8.3k

Rating: E (for sexual content)

Summary: He is alone. She is lonely. Neither with a true home to return to. Maybe they just need each other. Just tonight. Maybe he can taste her. Just once. But her secrets weigh heavy, even under the fairy lights.

Vibes: warm lights, cosy, soft, time travel, tragic love story

Shades of Gold

Pairing: Ginny Weasley/Tom Riddle

Status: Series, 4 complete works at this time

He says he'll make them immortal. He promises she'll rule the world by his side. But it's all an illusion—a haunting nightmare hidden beneath the veneer of cheap gold paint.

Won Most Surprising, Overall Favourite and Admin Favourite for the Colour Your Quote flash fest

She's a goddess of nothing. He's the ruler of Hell. And together, they will drown the world in black.

Won Overall Favourite and Admin Favourite for the Fall Equinox flash fest

The prophecy has foretold it. The prophecy has envisioned it. And the prophecy has lied.

Won Best Imagery and Overall Favourite for the Bodice Ripper flash fest

When Ginny is sixteen, she finds a diary tucked in her old school books. Her world is never the same after that.

Won Best Use of Quote for the Coming of Age flash fest.

Killing and Other Mundane Activities

Pairing: Bellatrix Lestrange/Hermione Granger

Status: Complete, 9.8k

Rating: E (for sexual content, violence, and general themes)

Summary: You marry men to kill them. Every woman should know that, according to Bellatrix Lestrange. It's too bad pesky private investigator Hermione Granger doesn't understand that. It's too bad she seems determined to find out why Bellatrix's husbands all drop like flies. It's too bad she's invested in tracking her down and making her pay for her crimes. Or is it?

Vibes: 1920s New York, detective noir, dark humour, Killing Eve, insane women

Leviathan

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape

Status: WIP - 1/20 chapters available, 2.8k

Rating: M (for themes and upcoming implied sexual content)

Summary: It had been nine years since Hermione Granger had disappeared—so why was she here, right by Severus’ campsite, telling him the mission he had been sent on by Dumbledore was sure to put an end to whatever early retirement plans he had? And why, of all the bloody places in the bloody world, did he have to endure all of this in Italy? He hated Italy—and he hated even more that its beating sun and colourful villages were about to become the least of his concerns.

Really—Severus had saved the Boy-Who-Lived, and this was how he was thanked?

Vibes: Italy, summer, monsters & creatures, Atlantis, mystery

It was the dead who groaned within

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Severus Snape

Status: Complete, 20k

Rating: E (for sexual content, violence, gore and general themes)

Summary: Then she hears it—her name spoken so low it's barely audible. The blood runs cold in her veins, and she shuts her eyes so tightly that her teeth clench in response. “Who are you?” she chokes out, forcing her jaw to relax. “No one, anymore.” The voice is harsh and rasps against her ears, but it is not unfamiliar. Her eyes spring open, and she turns her head to the side to see a bony hand and ragged robe right before it comes down to grasp her shoulder. The barely corporeal fingers bite into her flesh. “Are you going to hurt me?” she asks, voice steady despite the fear. “I already have.”

Vibes: Library, eerie, ghosts, possession, 1970s, horror

métamorphoses

Character study of Astoria Greengrass

Status: Complete, 5.1k

Rating: M (for themes)

Summary: The blood curse took her grandmother. And now, she has to pay the piper if she doesn't want it to take her too.

Vibes: summer, dysfunctional family dynamics, unhealthy coping mechanisms, despair, falling down the abyss

because we are linked by blood

Pairing: Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson

Status: Complete, 3k

Rating: M (for implied sexual content, violence, gore and general themes)

Summary: Pansy’s love has always been that—a crawling monster from the bowels of Hell, risen to power, destroying everything whole and pure on its way to reign. It drags bloodless corpses behind, an offering of horror and malevolence disguised as something else—something red and soft and warm.

Vibes: dark fantasy, village, monsters and creatures, horror, doomed love, star-crossed lover, betrayal

Koldovsto is Chaos

Pairing: TBA

Status: Series, 1 complete work at this time, 7 projected by the end of the series

Riddle's Koldovo Circus, 7k (Astoria Greengrass-centric, rated T)

Novolsk was the only land left where the Koldovo had a semblance of a life—where they weren’t chased down and killed. They lived as entertainers, showcasing their Gifts to the public, never settling down, never making a life for themselves—they existed at the whims of the lawmakers and the magistrates and the men in tall hats deciding what to do with them, and it would never change, not until, and only if— It was all wishful thinking. None of it mattered.

Winner of Most Interesting Characters and Best Dark Fic. Runner-up for Best Use of Characters, Best High Fantasy, Best Twist and Best Plot for Untagged Fest 2022.

Water & Earth

Pairing: Fleur Delacour/Ginny Weasley

Status: Complete Series, 3 works

Yours, 2.4k (rated M)

“I’m yours,” breathes out Ginny—it’s almost unwilling, like the words are torn from her throat. She can’t take them back now. She has always been Fleur’s— even as she watched Roger Davies make her spin across the dancefloor even as she stood in a pale gold dress while Fleur was exchanging vows with Bill even as she waited at Hogwarts while a war was unfolding before her very eyes even as she heard news of Fleur’s pregnancy Always.

Mine, 2.4k (rated M)

Ginny doesn’t protest, doesn’t push—five years later, she’s still ravenous for scraps, for crumbs. She allows herself to be dragged along, forgoing her spark and her will to rebel. She’s tired of fighting, tired of finding herself entangled in wars. For now, she just wants to enjoy the supple silk of Fleur’s skin, the warm whispers of her voice dripping in her ear, the liquid ecstasy of her mouth on her body, on her lips. She revels in knowing that she is Fleur’s and no one else’s, in the guttural r’s that roll off her tongue when she holds Ginny tight and says, “You’re mine.”

Her spirit floats, runs away. Runs to the memories, where the pain meets the pleasure, where the sadness meets the euphoria, where things are bittersweet rather than outright bitter. She swims—no, she runs—no, she drowns— She travels back. Back to the first time Fleur sank into her arms, weeping uncontrollably, a fountain bursting and leaking against her chest; the first time her lips found Ginny’s, insatiable and trembling with sadness. The kiss was sloppy, animalistic—almost surreal in how little it made sense. “Do you, Charlie Weasley, take Fleur Delacour—”

Beneath the Green Fumes

Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger

Status: WIP - 3/5 chapters available, 12.3k

Rating: M (for implied sexual content, violence, and general themes)

Summary: It has been a year since Hermione has lost her memories—she walks the streets of Knockturn, the undercity, aimlessly, hoping to one day remember. It's not until she saves a member of Diagon's High Council from certain death that the pieces of the puzzle come together.

Vibes: steampunk, betrayal, reunited lovers, memory loss, class warfare, social inequality

Not Another Teen Romance

Pairing: Tom Riddle/Hermione Granger

Status: Complete, 1.6k

Rating: T

Summary: When the original plan to thwart Tom Riddle goes tits up, Hermione must find an alternative. Is it her fault if everyone around her is an idiot and it blows up in her face?

Vibes: crack, humour, banter, academic rivals, Hogwarts, Amortentia

Won Funniest and The Shrimp Award for the My Neighbour Dumbledore flash fest.

shout out to everyone who participated in the january-february mass depressive episode

Thank you everyone for another great turnout to the january-february mass depressive episode

having friends notably older than you is fantastic actually, cause you can drop in a little mention of how old you would have been at the time of a story they tell and watch the existential crisis set in

Get off my lawn.

Title: Killing and Other Mundane Activities Author: @venom0usbarbie Reader: @bluestringpudding Pairing: Hermione/Bellatrix Rating: E Length: 57m

Summary: You marry men to kill them. Every woman should know that, according to Bellatrix Lestrange. It's too bad pesky private investigator Hermione Granger doesn't understand that. It's too bad she seems determined to find out why Bellatrix's husbands all drop like flies. It's too bad she's invested in tracking her down and making her pay for her crimes. Or is it?

Imagine thinking your spouse is a sexy secret agent for decades only to find out he’s a restaurant critic for fat tire boy magazine

Better yet imagine a real spy getting in trouble and mistaking a restaurant critic for a fellow agent. But the critic takes their job very seriously and won’t reveal themselves and so gets pulled into some kind of huge dangerous conspiracy whilst continuing to take notes on the quality of every restaurant they almost get shot in.

Mistakenly touched my weenor after crushing up a chili pepper for my Ramen honestly not as painful as one would expect more of a gentle heat much like the pleasant burn of cayenne in a spiced coffee or even much like . A chili crushed up in a bowl of delicious Ramen. Much food for thought

I hate this website

Like come on dude, you couldn't torture this information out of me

And does the honeybee begrudge the cow its willingness to part with its milk? Our differences enrich our experience of this beautiful world.

"I masturbated with a pepper"

"Wtf"

[Socratean poetry]

I don't need to take this from you tumblr user collaredbottom

PODFIC: These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends

Title: These Violent Delights Have Violent Ends READER Cailynwrites | ORIGINAL AUTHOR: venomousbarbie Pairing(s)/Character(s): Sirius Black/Hermione Granger Length: 3:41:21 Word Count 32000 Rating: Explicit Summary: They collided like comets and burnt up like stars.

I'm so excited this is out! It's my first Sirmione and it's a doozy. Mind the tags, please!

I am so so honoured by this! Please go give it a listen, Cailyn's voice is truly out of this world

a truth made of lies

Five years after her narrow escape from her uncle's deadly cult, Rhaenyra is ready to tell her story.

Whether that story is true or not is another question altogether.

Part 1: "The truth is rarely pure and never simple." — Oscar Wilde

Modern/Cult AU, 5k

Yknow the thing where red pandas just lay down on a branch and let their legs hang and they’re just like vibing

they’re just vibing yknow?

porcupines do this too :)

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disenchanted-mona-lisa

i have excellent news about the manul cat

Manul cat is an automatic reblog from me.

I am porcupine.

Pretty much most cats that spend any time in trees, tbh

Honestly tho, in terms of lazy chill I don’t think anyone’s gonna beat this bear:

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pterygota

look at this squirrel

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infinibastard

And let’s not forget the time an entire pride of ten lions decided to take a nap in a single tree

Yes these photos are real

not all kinks are sublimated anxieties, but the readiness with which we turn our sublimated anxieties into sexual fantasies is one of the most endearing things about our species to me. like our brains are like, “hmm. don’t like this. i should jerk off about it.”

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