𖤐God's got a sick sense of humor𖤐

Sometimes you have a conversation with someone or you get into an argument with them and you realize they aren’t even perceiving you at all, they already have a whole script in their mind and they’ve slotted you into a role as a prop in that preconceived story. Any time you say anything it’s not even registering to them because for them it’s just filler dialogue for when they get to say the next degrading thing to you. I get this feeling a lot when Christian missionaries talk to me but I’ve had it so many times in relationship arguments too

the beauty of skyrim's unmarked locations is that you can stroll up to like, a bear cave and after you kill the bear you just like find a corpse called like, bjorn bear-exploder and you loot him and you find an unique weapon like. the bear exploder sword that has a 10% chance of exploding bears and is completely dick useless. and then you just move on with your life.

I've never seen anyone talk about this like this. Most people I know laugh at the idea that you can be traumatized into hating reading.

"You can't brute force your way through a trauma response" really hit me. I went to the library recently because I wanted to finally get better at reading. As I attempted, I couldn't process any of the words and I struggled a lot to not break down into tears. I can't remember if I eventually told anyone, but I was too ashamed to say anything to the people I went with.

I decided to time myself when reading this. And just the screenshotted stuff. It took me 40 minutes to read it. And it will take me another 40 minutes to fully understand it, because when I read I have to reread times (and make notes) to remember even just pieces of what was said (you dont understand, a lot of people need to reread to fully understand. When I am done reading, my mind it blank and I don't remember any of what was written - not the facts, not the jokes, not anything.) I usually have to reread twice. Taking two and a half out hours of my day to do something that exhausts me and brings me no joy when existence in general is exhausting - I just never did it because I was always burnt out anyways from getting up, from breathing, from being around people or from being alone. And I assumed it was just something wrong with me. But knowing the system is designed like this on purpose, I feel relieved and also even more deafeated. Because I think this genuinely confirms that I will need some kind of accommodation if I'm going to want to read and actually remember/learn what I read.

This was really good to read because even though I am burnt out, it was worth it. It validated that there really is a system that made reading traumatizing on purpose, and it wasn't just my fault for hating reading as a child. It also made me feel kind of powerless, and a lot of shame for feeling that powetlessness bc I assume people are going to think my lack of reading is just some excuse, but thats more for me to deal with and not an issue with the author.

it's nice to have someone validate that reading is hard, and to explain that it is hard because it is exercise. if you do it more, you'll get stronger.

Faberge box carved out of amethyst, fitted with gold mounts, encrusted with diamonds and topped with a carved ruby animal.

nothing funnier to me than when AI does math wrong. like I get why it happens, it's a language model that's treating the numbers you feed it as words rather than integers and then giving you an answer based on how those words typically appear in a block of text instead of actually performing a calculation. but the one thing computers are genuinely incredible at. you fucked up a perfectly good calculator is what you did, look at it it's got hallucinations

matt just fired half the remaining tumblr support staff lmao

from my sources adjacent to tumblr--from which i can spread rumors and insider information freely because i dont give a fuck about ever working in the tech sector--im hearing this round of firings was focused on purging the senior staff, and not just from support but from the entire remaining tumblr workforce. i'm hearing there are about 25 people left.

Did you guys know there's nothing inherently wrong with selfish thoughts and desires and there's no such thing as thought crimes or thought sins and a balanced amount of selfishness is healthy and adaptive for living things to have and it's fine to act selfishly as long as you don't harm others

Let's parse the word "harm" here: asking for things is not harm. mildly inconveniencing others on occasion is not harm. wanting things is not harm. talking a lot is not harm. ordering in a restaurant is not harm. disliking someone is not harm. sexual attraction is not harm. rejecting an unwanted advance is not harm. letting others see unlikable sides of yourself is not harm. you would not believe how many things your parents disapproved of when you were little you've construed as harm are not, in fact, harm

I think maybe our entire societal problem is what I'll call an "abstinence-only" approach to selfishness. We treat all selfishness as if it's inherently bad and harmful and always to be shunned. It's defined as an interior trait; acting selfishly "reveals" who you "are" and so who you "are" must be disciplined. So then some people self-efface themselves into oblivion in an effort to be good, while others resent being controlled and rebel by acting like entitled assholes. Nobody learns how to be selfish safely and ethically and skillfully. Please, send me back in time so I can kill Paul the Apostle with hammers unlearn the idea that goodness is achieved by self-negation

new stickers are up now <3

posting this for no particular reason

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

Happy Tdov as it were. Here's your fully visible trans woman, once again asking folks to not just make us visible, but to support us everywhere you can. Speaking of, like I mention up there, I'm still desperately trying to cover my march rent on this, the last day of march. If you can pitch in and help out, here: http://paypal.me/tormentedartifacts but even just sharing this post around helps if you can't contribute directly.

Tdov may be over, but I still need to get another 500 together by the end of the day so I don't get evicted. Help a girl out?

marquis magazine no. 8