Pinned
… I had to know what young Shanks would have looked like.
Imagine you are Benn Beckmann, a grown ass adult, and this young dumbass saunters up to you and asks you to join his crew of upstarts? I couldn’t resist either …
Reblogged invisiblesanji
rip magneto you would have loved killing elon musk
Probably with a cybertruck, let's be honest. And it would have ruled so hard.
Reblogged starlightshadowsworld
I hate the trope of "I refuse to hit women!! [Gets decked]" cause it's boring but I do like the trope of someone in an RPG going "hey I don't wanna hit a kid that's kinda fucked up" and the kid just obliterates them
"i refuse to hit a woman!" = Sexist, overdone, does nothing to actually empower the woman or make the guy seem nice
"I refuse to hit a kid" = valid, even funnier when the kid whips absolutely ass in one go
Avatar: doing it right yet again
Reblogged obaewankenope
On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.
So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"
And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."
"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"
"Of course!"
Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.
Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!
And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.
And turns it on.
Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously
Reblogged captain-acab
Reblogged themikeymonster
Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists
Reblogged hugtheteadrinkthekitten
I love when you’re reading multiple fics by the same author and you start to spot all the phrases and adjectives they like to use
I ghostwrote these tags my god
Reblogged
why would you ever outsource fun to chatgpt? are you stupid? you can make mediocre shit by yourself too.
you're missing out on all the crazy euphoric moments where you execute an idea flawlessly, sending it to your friends and feeling the genuine happiness at their reactions to something you made authentically. you're robbing yourself of something beautiful.
and I get it, writers block, artists block, depression can really be terrible, but once you break out of it (and you will) it will feel like climbing Mount Everest.
peace and love on planet earth! you are saving the environment AND you’re cool!
Reblogged hugtheteadrinkthekitten
The cruelty of racist white men.
Does anyone else remember when Elon was like "if anyone knows how to end world hunger for 6 billion USD, I'll fund it" and UNICEF was like "we're going to spend a month to make a plan to end world hunger for 6 billion USD and Elon is going to fund it" and Elon was like "actually, nah" and then bought Twitter instead?
I think that was one of the worst things I'll ever see in my life.
I still think that should be the thing for which he's the most famous. It should be brought up every time he's mentioned. In any news article, any interview, any history book. "Elon Musk, who was offered a chance to end world hunger and turned it down." Put it on his fucking gravestone.
Reblogged tadpoled-sloth
why did you people come up with russian names for what is supposed to be a movie set in italy. what was the thought process here. why does she sound like she walked out of a tolstoy novel
an insane response, but i can't fight this. carry on
im being hunted for sport in the notes
Reblogged hugtheteadrinkthekitten
Customer started yelling at me because I was 1 minute late to open the shop so I banned him from shopping with us and locked the door on him. Play stupid games.
This man had the audacity to come back at the end of the day as I was closing up by the fucking way. Ranting and raving about how he had been mistreated and that no one had even bothered to reply to his complaint email all day
Well I had the UNBRIDLED joy of informing him that not only had I seen his email, which was insanely abusive towards me for the crime of being 1 minute late and not putting up with his shit first thing in the morning, but that I was also the manager who he demanded to speak to, and I’d now also had our IT team block his IP address from being able to contact us or order with us ever again.
I should’ve been allowed to castrate the man but this will have to do
Okay this got way more notes than I was expecting so I feel like I should add some important context here. I’m not management. I’m not even middle management I’m just some guy that works here. I don’t have the authority to do any of this I just like lying to customers
Reblogged thehorridmeat
old German lady gave me acupuncture today
she lifted up my shirt, saw my top surgery scars, and immediately went "WHOA! What caused THIS?"
my fellow comrades, it took every atom of my strength not to just say the funniest lie I could think of on the spot.
Reblogged mundycide
oxyconundrum
““When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day, when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first in his life. She told him that he would have to go outside himself and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.” All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy into her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because if violence begins in the nursery one can raise children into violence.””
— Astrid Lindgren, author of Pippi Longstocking, 1978 Peace Prize Acceptance Speech (via jillymomcraftypants)
Reblogged tadpoled-sloth
So within two days of each other, Fox News writes an article comparing aromanticism and asexuality to pedophilia, and then Matt Walsh releases a video saying asexuality is a mental illness and asexuals are tricking teenagers into having depression.
Not sure what’s going on right now over in Conservative World, but it’s a hell of wild U-turn for them to suddenly switch from “Oh no! The left is sexualizing our children!” to “Oh no! The left is asexualizing our children!”
It’s a reminder, I guess, that they’re coming for all of us. The fash and the white supremacists will not make nice distinctions between the queers when they put us up against the wall. There is no gatekeeping, no label-policing, no purity-purging and no assimilation that any of us can do that will save us. They want us dead, and while they’ll start with whoever is most vulnerable at any given time, they’ll get around to all of us eventually.
Queer solidarity means all of us because the fash are coming for all of us.
karmiccollector
All Dividers are Feds. Stand united or die separately.
ANYONE who is trying to divide our community is a fucking Fed. That includes other queers who like to argue about who is and isn’t “allowed” in our community.
Reblogged housevulpen
I used to hate the word faggot but now I realize that it's probably one of the only things that the gay community has left that isn't being sanitized, shined, and sold back to us at a premium by deceitful ass companies who claim to like us but then vote for policies that kill us. you're not gonna see a bank in a pride parade with banners that say "we love faggots" but you sure as hell will see a gay person saying "I love being a faggot" it feels so more real.
and I want it to stay controversial too because if a bank ever feels like they have the right to say "haha faggot right guys? 😏🏳️🌈" we should be able to publicly execute their ceo
Reblogged hugtheteadrinkthekitten
the sims is an endless source of comedy. my sim went on a first date with a guy, and it went so well he asked to move in after knowing her for two hours. he is added to my household. I discover that his personality traits are good (the opposite of evil), neat (likes to clean) and, for some reason, lactose intolerant. his goal in life is to be an ethical vampire, in spite of not being a vampire.
I have the sims fuck in a closet at the date venue to celebrate. a man I’ve never seen before dances inexpertly 5 feet away from them the whole time. my new vampire fetishist receives a emotion marker entitled “xenophile”, which is how I find out he knows my original sim is a secret alien.
we return to my home, where he immediately sets the stove on fire trying to make food. a fire fighter appears after the sims have already put the fire out, and then texts us hours later in the dead of night to comment on what good chemistry my sim has with her new boyfriend, whose personality is 33% an inability to eat cheese.