god i never told you guys but a couple weeks ago at work i heard a guy say, and i closely paraphrase, "So I was out with my partner--republicans hate it when i say that. My heterosexual partner Jessica--" and i was straight up crying before he finished his sentence. fully diegetic convergent linguistic evolution live in the workplace
"thats her name heteroooo jessica thats her name folks thats what we call her hertero jessica"
/hj is the funniest earnest tonetag in the world even without the handjob joke because it's ostensibly meant to clarify tone for autistic people, but the tone it's clarifying is "unreadable level of ambiguous seriousness that requires social context beyond what text can convey /glhffgt"
I'm half joking, which either means that I'm presenting sincere beliefs flippantly to avoid backlash, that I'm completely lying about what someone like me would say, that I'm presenting a mix of true and false statements, or that I'm loaning out a socially acceptable opinion to nudge you back in line /hj
THAT'S WHAT /HJ MEANS???
in my opinion it does have other uses, like saying "I'll eat it (/hj)" as in there's a possibility of eating it
My friends and I used to do this thing where we'd dress up on a theme and go do something totally normal.
We dressed up as pirates and went bowling.
We dressed as vikings and went to the grocery store. The security guard told us we had to move our longship because it was illegally parked.
We dressed as Romans and went to Blockbuster. The staff chanted, "toga! Toga! Toga!" at us.
We dressed up all steampunk and went to the museum. Tourists kept taking our picture.
I used to do historical reenactment when I was at University. I would go to class before session as a Norman knight, and when the session was over me and some of my buddies I did it with would get the bus home in the same kit. Stop at the Tesco's in full armour for beer and supper and ice cream, then get together at Irish's place for a LAN party.
It's enrichment for all involved. I remember being told I was 900 years late for the battle, and asking the bus driver where the horses were.
I genuinely think the world would be a much better place if more people felt comfortable dressing a bit silly out in public.
👻 corpsecourse Follow
dni if you support relationships between vampires and the vampire they sired. i am so serious, i dont care what your justification is, that is an unforgivable power imbalance. its almost as bad as vampire human relationships (and if you support that i hope you get a splinter in the heart)
🧛♀️ vampbites Follow
op what the fuck is your problem? more maggots in your brain than usual? go out into the real underworld and touch some graveyard dirt. i know at least 7 vampires who are in happy healthy relationships with the vampire who sired them. me included! this may shock you but we started dating when i was human and she was a vamp!
👻 corpsecourse Follow
i hate to tell you this but you're in a toxic relationship and i sincerely hope youre able to get out.
🧛♀️ vampbites Follow
HELLO???????
🦇 battybrained Follow
i keep seeing people saying this shit and honestly i think it stems from the infantalization of humans. humans are capable of making decisions for themselves. do some vampires abuse their powers over humans? of course! but you cant assume that every single human vampire relationship (or sire and sired relationship for that matter) is some unhealthy power imbalance, especially when you dont even know them!!!
⚰ fangs4fags Follow
i think op is forgetting that humans can be just as harmful to vampires as they can be to humans. dont tell me you completely just forgot about the existence of vampire slayers
🧛♂️ coffincreeper Follow
next thing you know op is gonna be saying that a hundred year age gap between fully fledged vampires is problematic
👻 corpsecourse Follow
it literally is. i dont care if you are a 1000 years old vampire, if your significant other is 100 years older than you they have more life experience than you. god you guys are stupid why dont you all step into a sunbeam
🩸 f33d3r Follow
hey guys i just went to ops account and their pinned post was about how they dont consider werewolves part of the monster community cuz theyre not undead. just block and move on it is NOT worth it
🐺vamplovingwolf Follow
isnt it funny how whenever theres some rancid discourse like this its always made by coffinscrews
Why are all the follow buttons RED instead if the usual Blue???
I'm trying to interact with the people on the post and it does nothing what is this
don't worry these users are fake they can't hurt u
⚰️ fangs4fags Follow
don't listen to them it's me boy i'm the vampire tumblr user speaking to you inside this post
You've waited, and now it's finally here....
Introducing:
(Text dates under the cut)
The first three are literal genetically enhanced space warriors and the last one is just some twitchy nerd who got lucky
Besides Samus would cream them all
your mind
Isaac's First Good Day
