Enya sets off my fight or flight response

genuinely one of the funniest scenes in the entire show. the slow head turn. leonard nimoy your acting choices never cease to amaze me

IM CRYING WHY'D HE LOOK AT BONES LIKE HE DID IT

Person off screen: what are five things you would never do after working as a lawyer?

Man on camera: well the first thing I would never do after working as a lawyer is call the police. I think people need to be very careful, when they consider of the issue of whether or not to invite the police into their world, their life, or into their home.

The second thing I'd never do after being a lawyer is to talk to the police.

Number three, I would never allow the police into my home without a warrant. But to invite the police into your home, is to grant them permission to make observations to what's inside. And who knows? You may have left your bong out.

Number four, I would never consent to a search of my vehicle, my home or my property. If police want to search my person or my home: get a warrant.

And the fifth thing I'd do: never submit to an interview without an attorney present. They tell you "you have the right to remain silent" and they also tell you "you have the right to have a lawyer present" before you ever speak to them.

I won't be talking to the police.

Weird Al is humanity's main character.

i think you can be 40 and have a coming of age narrative

“Rayban charity glasses event” is a scam don’t click any link in a post that says that.

Old tumblr users remember this scam back when it first went out.

Also no, this isn’t a joke. This phishing scam is 100% running its course again so watch out for your mutuals long abandoned accounts suddenly posting it. Please make everyone aware of it since most users here are newbies who have not seen it before!

the concept and idea of “you can always start trying to be a better person” is extremely important to me both in media and irl and i continue to be deeply deeply disturbed by the trend on this site pushing that these ideas in media are bad writing or even morally reprehensible

because theyd rather someone stay terrible or just straight up die than become a better person 

from a compassionate point of view it’s deeply distressing and from a pragmatic point of view it’s outright frustrating

it’s fucked up. 

What is the most important step a man can take?

The next.

I think part of the pushback about this is the idea that, to “redeem” bad people, their victims must first forgive them for unforgivable acts.

This is false. No one is obligated to forgive you. You can learn from your mistakes and become the best, kindest person on earth, and the people you’ve hurt still won’t forgive you, and you’ll have to accept that. And that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to grow. Because we aren’t just “pure” or “sinful”, we’re complex.

Luigi Mangione could be getting the death penalty…

This man is innocent, his appearance and build doesn’t match that of the killers, the only “motive” he had was a convenient written confession showing that he supposedly viewed healthcare companies as “parasitic” and too expensive (which does somewhat contradict the actual killers actions) he had said note and the murder weapon conveniently on him while living his ordinary life, the killer held the gun in his right hand while Luigi is left-handed, Luigi and the Killer were potentially seen simultaneously, they wore slightly different coats.

The NYPD KNOW these are different people, they know the evidence is lacking, this isn’t a mistaken identity, it’s framing, they are trying to make themself appear to still be control by catching this man, humiliating him, killing him, when they know full well that the person they are prosecuting ISNT EVEN THE RIGHT GUY! This is an injustice! This is not a fair trial! This is downright tyranny!

They confiscated his bag at the mcdonald's, took it out of everyone's sight, unpacked it and repacked it, and THEN took it down to the station and wow there was a manifesto in there that he was just carrying around in daily life for some reason

Definitely the sort of thing that the Bag Of Monopoly Money Guy would be carrying to McDonald's

tumblr where are they

tumblr publishing a major cosmetic update (at least for the ios app) the day before april fool’s day is so suspicious….. girl what are you planning

ohhhhh. it was nothing. they didn’t plan anything.

they threw together some polls because they clearly prioritized changing fonts and spacing in arbitrary ways for their update and didn’t have time to do an april fool’s gag

thats so lame lol

Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.

A social gathering of dudes who all have serious Main Character Syndrome, but all are wildly different genres. One of them is the "people don't like me because I'm too smart" Misunderstood Genius who isn't actually particularly smart, just mean. Another one thinks he's wisecracking and clever by just talking like a character in a Marvel movie. Third one thinks he's subtly pulling off a mysterious Film Noir vibe by wearing a fedora and spending most of his time internally narrating, and silently staring at people. The fourth one is a deeply dramatic purple prose self-fashioned Byronic Hero who is unaware that he would be a mildly annoying minor antagonist in a Jane Austen novel at best. The fifth one has gotten his entire personality from shounen anime.

just remember, one day you're going to open tumblr and the crabs will be raving like they never have before

Still feels weird that the same band made "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" and "Pretty Fly (For A White Guy)"

It's like if Smash Mouth and Fall Out Boy were one band.

The Offspring are honestly a contender for the funniest punk band ever, made even funnier by the fact that Dexter Holland is pushing 60 now and has a PhD in virology.

Like imagine being on an academic committee and reviewing a dissertation on HIV protein-encoding genomes and it's from a guy with frosted tips whose greatest legacy is the Crazy Taxi soundtrack.

That's the Offspring.

The hook from "Come Out And Play" was created because Dexter Holland was doing lab work and did, in fact, have to keep certain petri dishes separated while disinfecting them. So he kept saying "gotta keep 'em separated" to himself while working, and it stuck in his head so badly that it made it into the song.

A role model for all of us indecisive people who want to do and try anything and everything.