people are always like "Oh a vampire wouldn't get horny while drinking someone's blood, that's like getting horny while eating a sandwich" and like man have you never had a really good fucking sandwich?

The sandwich i had for lunch didnt moan and scream and squirm against my body and then become limp and pliable when i was done now did it

(Via @morganpdf )

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

I want everyone who’s unearthed this after 5 years to reblog it and say “lmao me” to know that getting divorced from this person was one of the best decisions of my life

hey that's not how this post used to end what the fuck

fuck this one carbon atom tbh

@aria-herself because I know she likes it when I get mad at science

But this is the wrong structure for testosterone! It’s kind of a resonance form of the molecule but it’s not the most stable (and thus “default”) form! Testosterone looks like THIS:

It’s close, it’s basically the same, but it’s not QUITE as close as the original post states.

people have rediscovered me being an idiot who doesn't fact check, my punishment is unending, never have a viral post ever

pick your poison LMAOOO

May 2014: Senator Bill Heffernan complains about the lack of metal detectors in parliament, tabling a pipe bomb he's brought with him as evidence

someone questioned the quality of the image and thought it might be AI and I'm here to confirm this is real

imagine looking in your rear view mirror and you just see this

for everyone asking for what article this is i actually went back and found it again and you'll never guess who it's about

fat character who becomes a vampire and loses a ton of weight and blood can not sate their hunger but they can't eat anything they used to like anymore. everyone views it as a positive healthy positive development but they're starving and dying slowly but never truly dying, a living corpse. this is a metaphor for something

People finally think they’re attractive and cool and funny but they’re dead. People finally treat them well but they’re dead. Do you see the vision

Transforms into a shell of my former self and finally gains the respectability society never bestowed upon me before

the biggest scam tumblr pulls is all the people who come here convinced they want to be tumblr famous

the best experience you can have on tumblr is goofing around with your mutuals and one of the worst experiences is having a post with 20k+ notes.

they should let me design tshirts

i really struck a chord here didnt i

you will never understand my pain

transitioning is wild like one day you'll wake up and you're just happy and the world is more colourful and theres a slight spring in your step and the girl in the mirror can't stop smiling at you

It’s so crazy how you can measure the shifts in culture based on which race Ariana is pretending to be

they won't even let you ride your bike indoors anymore. because of oak.