Little dude is havigg the time of his fuckin life

What if you went grocery shopping and the produce section was just missing?

Cuz my local Food Lion hid the produce section from me

Bethesda ass grocery store 😡😡😡

TVTropes gets made fun of a lot but it is a little astonishing how consistent that wiki's voice is. It's a great wiki to go to if you want to simulate having one specific autistic fifteen-year-old computer nerd infodump to you about any piece of media that exists. To be clear I am saying this as an overwhelmingly positive thing

*slides you this chart*

*you kick me out of the butcher shop*

Live your dream.

I am leaving a mark on the world

It's... it's a sausage dog

hey guys im making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap wake me up in 5 minutes so i can flip them over

ok

💯 but its 000 for when something's fuckall

Okay okay okay so I’m changing like every recognizable detail of this for privacy purposes but yall need to appreciate this

So I know how to retain CCTV footage, right? It doesn’t come up everywhere but I know my way around- and if someone gets jumped in a parking lot or whatever I can go backwards and see whodunnit

So I’m at this one place, right? And I get a call that an older woman in a wheelchair got hurt somehow and we need to see what happened.

Nobody remembers the exact time, because of course not, but they tell me she was wearing like a massive hot pink jacket and she’s in a wheelchair and she left with a medic round 09:45ish, so I figure I’ll start there.

So I find the incident itself no problem, but they need ALL footage for liability and insurance and stuff, so I have to keep going

And about ten minutes backwards, I lose her. She comes into view past a single shelf on one of the worse cameras and vanishes.

like. VANISHES. Hot pink jacket, big bulky black chair, gonzo. No idea where she came from.

So, I pull up entry cams. Zoom backwards till I see her come in… at like 06:15.

THREE AND A HALF HOURS EARLIER.

So first off, this is gonna take me like two hours minimum to write down, forget retention. And I’m kind of dying in my soul a bit but I start over there, watching her come in and meander and whatever.

At about 08:30ish she disappears.

Doesn’t leave. Doesn’t head to a bathroom. Doesn’t take her coat off. Her trail just stops.

Now, I’ve done this before. Typically, a location only has the mandatory minimum amount of room for a chair or walker to get around, so a person using one can only go forwards and it’s hard to 180. That limits options and makes it easier to follow, whereas a little unattended and fully mobile kid will zoom around in circles and shit and go who the hell knows where.

Then I see her again on the other ass end of the building, and I have to go back again to see how she GOT there.

My guys.

Her two and three-point turns are INCREDIBLE.

She’s popping on the wheels, flip, zoom, she’s out somewhere I didn’t think she could even GET to. I’ve been planning my search for places that fit a wheelchair or least-resistance fast-paths from A to B and she’s like… doing some Tokyo Drift shit.

I don’t know WHY. The whole place is basically completely accessible so long as you put up with having to reverse, but no. No, she goes where she wants.

I’ve been at this for half the day, and I still have no idea where she went for like an hour and a half.

Fuck me, I’m taking a lunch break

This is barely an exaggeration

Gandalf: So I’ve developed an elaborate plan to save middle earth from darkness

Elrond: does it-

Gandalf: it involves hobbits again yeah

our spanish teacher was making us describe pictures of lots of weird objects in class and she put this pic on the slide

a girl wrote “es para mike wazowski” and the chat went insane

mutuals. do any of you have the really long photo of qui gon jinn that says "is this guy bothering you queen" i need it

like specifically his lightsaber is long not qui gon himself

please

PLEASE

I FOUND HIM!!!

I go to a hotel in california and i get a room with a king size bed and i am excited to sleep in the famed "california king" but when i arrive i find that it is suspiciously not as large as it should be. So i call the concierge and ask whats going on, and im told that hotels dont have california king size beds, just normal king sized beds, despite being in california. I am outraged at the discrepancy and immediately tell the concierge that i cannot stay at such a misleading establishment only to be informed that, while anyone can come to this hotel, i can, in fact, NEVER leave-

DELETE THIS POST

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

*clicks play in morbid curiosity*

*hammers reblog button*

I think I find this post every April Fools Day and I am so happy that I do

i am not taking questions at this time