Pregnancy #4

My talented friend Sara Boulter captured these beautiful maternity photos for me.
Despite my hesitation, she managed to make me feel that elusive pregnancy glow
using a combination of sweet compliments and magic behind the lens.

Even though it's been so long since I've posted on this blog, I had to document this pregnancy while I'm still pregnant (38 weeks today, but who's keeping track?).  Knowing that this is the last time I'll have this experience is pretty bittersweet.

Lemme start with the BITTER:

• I know the moment I'm pregnant because my immune system goes to crap and I catch every sick bug in the vicinity. This time was no exception. I was sick for weeks and then picked up a different bug and was sick for a few more weeks after that. This was before we announced the pregnancy so I couldn't tell anyone and despite everyone telling me to take some TheraFlu and get over it, I couldn't take anything. It was miserable.
• Pukey, vomit, hugging the toilet nausea from week 6 to week 17. (Yes, this was in addition to the crappy illnesses that already weighed me down.) Daily, at least a dozen times a day. And yeah, every time I puked, I also peed my pants. So there's that.

I kept a sticky note on my toilet that it was for puking only.
I don't know about you, but I don't like sticking my head into a toilet that has just
been pooped in.

• Weight gain like a freight train. Even though I was throwing up so much, I was eating even more. If I stopped eating, I started puking. So I constantly ate crackers and toast and bread and cookies for those first 17 weeks. And consequently, I gained A LOT of weight. Enough so that my doctor pointed it out every visit.
• The weight gain earns itself two bullet points under bitter because it's that ridiculous. I have more cellulite and stretch marks than should really be allowed. My booty has grown so much that NONE of my maternity pants fit me anymore. Not even the stuff I wore with previous pregnancies. Thank goodness for yoga pants. 
• Hernia. Yeah, that was a surprise this pregnancy. My kids like to point out how funny looking my belly button is. Lennon calls it a "pig's face". Thanks Budgy.
• Anxiety.  Like you wouldn't believe.  I find things to worry about and then I keep myself up at night worrying about them.  Everything from dying during delivery (I am legitimately terrified that I have only a few weeks left on earth), to my child being born with severe Zika induced birth defects (we traveled to Thailand 4 months before getting pregnant). 
• Did I mention the weight gain?
• Trying to come up with the perfect name for our child is a challenge. We want to try to stick to the musician theme so our options are limited. Conway can't bear to have a name that is remotely popular so that narrows it down even more. And waiting to find out the sex of the baby (as much fun as it is) means we have to come up with two names... even harder!
• In the time I have taken to sit down and type this out, my feet have become totally swollen and my back has become so stiff I can't move.

I took maternity photos at 27 weeks. It was a judgement call on my part.

I knew if I waited much longer, my butt would be bigger than my belly.

It was a good call. Because it is.

Onto the SWEET:

• I get to have another baby! I can NOT wait to have a newborn again. I LOVE LOVE LOVE newborn babies--especially when they are mine.  It has been 5 years since I've had a baby and I'm so excited to have this experience again. The newborn smells, coos, cuddles, all of it! I get that again!
• Marley, Cohen and Lennon.  They are at such fun ages.  It's so amazing to witness their excitement and anticipation about their new baby brother (according to Cohen) or sister (according to Marley and Lennon).  They hug and kiss my tummy and give input about names. Lennon rubs lotion on my stomach every chance she gets and practices putting diapers on her baby dolls.  This baby is going to be so loved.
• Lennon starts Kindergarten a few weeks after Baby comes.  If I didn't know I'd have a newborn to keep me company at home, this milestone would be too much for me to handle.
• I love having a belly.  When I'm not pregnant, it's a pretty safe bet that I'm sucking in my stomach at all hours of the day. Letting it hang out is such a relief! And I'll be honest, I think it's adorable.  I may have unsightly junk in other areas, but I just love my baby bump. 
• Other people love a belly. It's so much fun being pregnant. People give you kind smiles and encouragement and love everywhere you go.  And I'll take it.
• I was able to stay active throughout this pregnancy.  I ran a Ragnar at 24 weeks which was such a fun and amazing experience that I'm so PROUD of!  And I've been blessed to be able to have private prenatal yoga classes once a week at my house.  I'm so grateful for this incredible healthy body that's growing a human child. I know I gripe about the weight gain but when it comes down to it, I'm just so happy and thankful to have this opportunity.  I know it's a gift and I don't take it for granted.

  

  Ragnar SoCal April 2017
  I ran slow and sometimes mostly walked. But I finished.

• I have the most incredible, loyal, handsome, adventurous, generous and fun partner in parenting. Conway is so supportive and helpful. He makes me feel beautiful when I know I'm a hot mess; he makes me feel loved when I know I'm hormonal and irrational; and I get to see him fall in love with another member of our family soon. And watching him fall in love with our babies, makes me fall in love with him all over again.

It's all still so surreal. I try to wrap my head around the fact that in a few short weeks, we will be a family of 6, that I will have another child, that there is actually a human being growing inside me at this very moment! It's such a miracle and it's such an honor and privilege. And despite all my anxieties (blame my death-during-childbirth-fear on binge-watching Grey's Anatomy), these last few weeks can't go by quickly enough.

Easter Bunny Treasure Hunt

Around here, the Easter Bunny leaves clues around the house for the kids on Easter morning. To get their Easter basket, they have to solve all the clues.  This year the Easter Bunny is recycling these clues from a couple years ago (assuming they won't remember them). And because I remember staying up late into the night coming up with rhymes, I want to use these suckers again and I thought I'd share them on here in case any one else wants to use them too. Just write (or type) the clues below and hide or tape them in the places described (or adjust according to your house) and enjoy your kids' delight on Easter morning as they hunt for buried treasure!

Treasure Hunt Clues marked in envelopes

(Clue #1 in an envelope on the counter with some Easter eggs)
Good morning West cuties it's Easter today!
So get ready for fun and get ready to play!
It's time for adventure it's a treasure hunt quest
To get your prize you must pass this test
You will be given some clues that you must solve
And you have to work together get everyone involved
Once you figure it out go get the next clue
And then it will tell you what to do
Are you ready? Get set, Here we go!
Think of a place that is cold like snow
You put things in it to keep them cold
Like milk and cheese so it doesn't get mold
If you think you got it go open its doors
You'll find your next clue in one of the drawers 

(Clue #2 in fridge drawer)
Congratulations you got your first clue!
So pay close attention here's clue number 2.
Number 2 number 2
Did you know that's a clue?
Sometimes you go 1 and sometimes you go two.
This is where you sit when you just have to go
Sometimes it's fast and sometimes it's slow.
Do you need more hints?
Ok. lets see.
Poopy poop butt. Stinky poo and pee pee.
All right kids stop laughing and go find your clue
But make sure you wash your hands
Cuz it's taped to the lid. Ew. 

X marks the spot!

(Clue #3 taped to toilet lid)

You're doing great this is clue number three
Don't fool around you better listen to me
Your next clue is hidden where you go to get clean
You turn on hot water and the room fills with steam
Pull back the curtain and look all around
Your clue's in there somewhere
Could be up could be down 

Digging for buried treasure

(Clue #4 taped to shower wall)
You're so good at this! You are true buccaneers!
You're getting close to your treasure!
It's practically here!
But first you must solve clue number four
It's taped next to the thing that you ring at the door
It goes "ding dong" when somebody visits
Go run and look! I'm sure you won't miss it. 

He is Risen!

(Final Clue on doorbell)
Before we move on to your next clue
You must answer this question I ask of you
It's very important that you each understand
The meaning of Easter and why it's so grand.
So before we move on you can whisper or shout.
Just tell me about Easter
Who is it about?
Now take a moment to think and just pause
Think about Jesus and all the wonders He's caused.
It's pretty cool don't you think
That it's because of Him
That even after we die we'll see each other again?
It's ok to be silly and have fun and play
But we must always remember why we have Easter today
It's not about bunnies or presents you're given.
It's because after He died Jesus was risen. . .
Ok my smart scouts let's get excited
You've done the hard work and now you're invited
To hunt and search for your treasure box
It can be found where X marks the spot.
You'll have to look to know where to dig
But first go outside cuz that's where it is.
Look for the X and when it is found
Start digging and digging
It's in the ground! 

An Easter Treasure instead of an Easter Basket

(Treasure - it helps that we lived on the beach; but a sandbox or anywhere you could bury or hide the treasure would work too)
X marks the spot. You found it well done!
I hope that like it and I hope you had fun!

See you next year,
❤ The E.B.

Be Excellent to Each Other

The other day I was driving to Target.  Post-Halloween sales were calling my name.  NEXT year, my house will look awesome, I tell you.  Awesome.

This year's Halloween decor

So anyway, I was first in the intersection when the light turned green.  As I went to drive, I realized I was in the wrong gear and it took me maybe 3 seconds to get my car in first and proceed through the intersection.  The car behind me honked and flashed their lights several times with the lady driver dramatically rolling her eyes in my direction as she swerved around me.  Swerved around me only to turn into the next parking lot which happened to be Target. (She must have had Halloween bargains on her mind too.)  Her impatient swerve got her into a parking space about half a second before I did and as she parked, so did I.  Right next to her.

When she got out of her car I looked at her with my eyebrows raised.  I wanted to say something. I desperately wanted to have a clever gibe ready for her or even politely explain what had happened.  But I didn't/couldn't.  She looked embarrassed and shyly averted her eyes as she walked quickly away from me.

I truly think that this girl never imagined she would be face to face with me after her little car tantrum. I think that if she knew she would, she never would have acted that way. This behavior baffles me.  I'm not saying that I haven't been guilty of a little road rage or impatience with a stranger.  But that's what is so baffling.  I am a nice person. I would never act rudely to a stranger's face or display my impatience standing right in front of someone.  But safely behind the wheel of my car I am free to be a jerk without any repercussion.

This is the same baffling behavior that has been rearing its ugly head in social media.  This is one of the many reasons I am not a fan of Facebook.  People are so quick to judge, comment, hate and release venom to complete strangers because they are safely tucked away behind the protection of their computer or phone.  Would these people really be so venomous and forcefully opinionated to these people's face?

You know what I'm talking about.  Strangers are weighing in about everything.  The other day I saw an article about a boy who made a mistake at a football game and received hundreds of hateful text messages and even death threats because they saw his mistake on YouTube.  Really?! His mistake bothered someone so much that they felt the need to tell him to die?  If this same threatening stranger saw this video and then met this kid in person would he still say the same thing? I'm gonna say no.

After the Sandy Hook shootings I remember visiting a Facebook page set up in memory of one of the victims.  As I scrolled through the comments on the page I was bewildered by some of the negative and hateful things people said.  (The link is for a more current post from the same page requesting people with hurtful comments to please keep them to themselves. This is STILL going on!?)

I'm not on a soapbox here saying that I'm any better than anyone else.  But that's my point... no one is!  I'm just saying that the next time you try to hide behind your steering wheel or your computer screen, don't. You might just end up in the same parking lot with that person you're bullying.

Another Post About the Dentist

It was time for our six month checkup. By "our" I mean Marley, Cohen and me. All three of us. At the dentist. At the same time. Without Daddy. Perhaps you can sense where this is going.

We were off to a great start. Both kids were cavity free and loving all the prizes they were given.




And then it was my turn. We left the kids in the waiting room to play with their new toys while my teeth were cleaned.

And then it began. By "it" I mean utter chaos and humiliation. It started with Cohen crying. Then there was fighting. Then they were both crying.

The hygienist tried to rush through my cleaning, after asking if I could call Conway to see if he were close, but there were some complications from my crown that needed attention. In the middle of my x-rays, the receptionist ran back to my chair to exclaim that Cohen had gone shishi in his pants.

For those of you unfamiliar with Hawaiian slang, I'll translate: "Your son just peed all over himself and the waiting room floor."




But this did not deter him from playing with his new toys!

I'm sure everyone in the office was glad to see us go.

Next time I go to the dentist, I hope it will be solo. (And by "hope" I mean know. Because I am not doing that again. I think it's Conway's turn.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Galileo Figaro Magnifico

My children LOVE going to the dentist. Ah, the innocence of youth.

I had a dentist's appointment on Monday.  It was for a crown and a filling.  I was supposed to get this done over a year ago but have put it off again and again because I have an incredibly intense fear of the dentist.  There's just something about being told that you CAN NOT swallow that severely compels an immediate NEED to swallow as if your very life depends on it.  That, and when I'm nervous I like to talk.  Talk and giggle.  Two things that are impossible when you're mouth is stretched open and there are two pairs of hands rummaging around in there with needles and drills telling you to "keep your tongue back" as if you have some idea just where exactly your tongue is when your mouth is completely numb.

I had to endure two hours of this. Curse you Swedish Fish!

I tried to find a happy place.  First I found myself in Corona del Mar overlooking the ocean where Conway and I shared our first kiss.  Oh, happy place.  But after a few moments I was right back in that dentist's chair.  So I tried returning to my honeymoon.  Turtle Bay.  Hot husband.  Ooh la la.  

Why is this not working?

Photo from Tumbler

Find a happy place. Find a happy place. Find a happy place.

"Move your tongue back, Diana."

Find a happy place.

"Don't swallow."

Find a happy place.

And suddenly, music started flowing through my mind.  

"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide no escape from reality. . ."

Bohemian Rhapsody? This is my happy place?  Don't question it, fool! It's working!

"Let me go! We will not let you go. Let me go!"

Mercifully Bohemian Rhapsody is a long song. I think it was the combined effort of trying to remember all those lyrics and picturing the YouTube video (see below) that successfully distracted me.  I probably sang it through half a dozen times before I finally got to open my eyes and swallow freely. 

I have to go back next week and get this temporary crown replaced with the permanent one. 

I can not tell you how much I'd rather fly coach with two screaming kids half way across the ocean again than go back to the dentist. (Oh wait, have I not told you that story? Perhaps another time. For now it would suffice to have you conjure up a memory of your most horrifying, anxiety-driven, embarrassing, annoying experience and then drag it out for six hours. That's what that flight was like.)

But at least I know I just have to channel Freddie Mercury. Or maybe the dude in the aforementioned YouTube video.  My Canadian family introduced me to this gem recently. Watch it. You'll thank me next time you're stuck in the dentist's chair.

PS. When I told him I was going to see the dentist, he cried. Because he wanted to come too.

So [Sew!] Blessed

My mom is an amazing seamstress.  She made my prom dresses, my wedding dress, Marley's blessing dress and Cohen's blessing tuxedo.

I have plans to preserve these blessing outfits in shadowbox frames which I will give to my kids when they are older.

So when I found out that my mom wouldn't be able to make Lennon's blessing dress (she was in St. George helping my brother with his new business and wouldn't be home before the blessing), I didn't know what to do.  I couldn't just buy a dress - that wouldn't be special; and I couldn't have her wear Marley's because then she wouldn't have her own to keep in a frame. So I made up my mind.  I would make hers myself.  Even if it turned out disastrous, I figured it would be special because Mommy made it.

Keep in mind, I don't sew. My mom bought me a sewing machine several years ago in the hopes that I might follow in her enormous footsteps. (I say "enormous" figuratively of course; my mom wears a size 5--yet one more thing I did not inherit from her). This sewing machine sat in its box for months at a time and only saw daylight when she would come to visit. I once tried to follow a pattern for a summer dress for Marley (with my mom supervising--and ultimately doing all the work) and I got completely stuck when the instructions on the pattern said, "fold and press".  I carefully folded it over as directed and  pressed my finger onto the fabric. Flummoxed, I turned to my mom and said, "I'm pressing it! Now what?"  . . . You can guess who does the ironing in our household.  My philosophy is, why iron it if it's just going to get wrinkled as soon as you sit in the car anyway? Oh, and that's about the time my mom went ahead and took over the summer dress project (deeming me hopeless, I'm sure).

Luckily for me, just around the time I decided I'd sew my daughter's blessing dress, I discovered Pinterest.  I started pinning tutorials for pillow case dresses and onesie dresses.  Since I knew I couldn't follow a pattern, these tutorials were perfect for me.  For my first attempt, I took a onesie and a pillowcase, cut them each in half and sewed them together.  Easy peasey Japanesey. Nothing fabulous but a finished dress nonetheless.

First ever sewing attempt. Notice how crooked the seam is. Rookie! But I did learn how to gather.

By the way, did I mention that I didn't even know how to thread my stupid machine before I took on this project? I had to spend a ridiculous amount of time watching obnoxious YouTube tutorials just to learn how to thread that bleeding bobbin. (Incidentally, they were only obnoxious because I'm impatient. I'm actually extremely grateful to people who will post these educational videos for my benefit; I think we need to come up with a modern Poster Campaign that says, "Everything I Need to Know, I Learned on YouTube".)

Anyway, my next attempt was a to combine a white onesie with a white pillowcase and add a few embellishments like ribbon and rosettes (which I learned during this process as well) in an attempt to make a simple blessing gown.  Success again!  This one could have been the dress.  But you'll notice, the fabric I used to make the rosettes was from old, dingy pillowcases.  White dress + dingy off white rosettes = No gracias.

2nd sewing attempt. Hide the crooked seam by adding rosettes--Genius! I have now graduated to first string Junior Varsity.

Then, Pinterest delivered again producing a dress I loved with a website that had a tutorial. I knew how to thread my bobbin at this point, so I decided to give it the old college try.  The tutorial was written for people who have some experience with sewing so there were several times I had to read the instructions over and over and slower and slower until they started somewhat making sense.

"6. To attach the ruffled bottom to the now ruffled top, turn the skirt inside out. Slide the ruffled onesie into the tube/bottom until the top of the tube meets up with the fabric strip ruffle. Lift the ruffle and pin the top of the tube under the ruffle on the onesie. At this point, the inside out, upside down ruffled bottom should be pinned in place on the onesie."                                  [www.kojo-designs.com]

Say what??? For as much sense as it made to me, this step might as well have said: "6. Fold and press." But you better believe I kept at it. I ended up messing up and taking apart and trying again and practicing on scrap fabric and poking myself with pins and cursing at my sewing machine until it worked.  But in the very end, mission accomplished.

 And my little model made it look even better than I could have hoped.

Lennon's blessing day was perfect.  You may recall that we blessed Cohen in the mountains so we blessed Lennon on the beach. Her namesake Tia flew over from Canada to be here for the special occasion. All our favorite Hawaiian friends came. There was a beautiful spirit present that day.  I felt the love of my Hawaiian ohana that was there, my family that couldn't be there, and even my dad who was probably there.

Proud Papa

Our family of 5

Ohana

With Tia and Sophia - (shout out to Tia who made all the delicious food and took all the pictures that day - Mahalo Tia! I couldn't have done it without you!)

I'm so blessed to have this beautiful little angel in my life.  And thanks to this blessing dress adventure, I've discovered a hidden talent appreciation for sewing.  Maybe my sewing machine won't collect dust between my mom's visits anymore.

Beautiful Baby

"Up" and Down

Peacock, Bunny and Spiderman ready for the Trunk-or-Treat party

Nine Halloweens together and Conway has never dressed up.  Well, I take it back.  Every year he says he IS dressed up, as Jonny--his identical twin brother.  Lame.

Nice costume Con, or wait, is that Jon?

Well this year I had a plan.  A theme!  For our church's trunk-or-treat party, we've always just decorated our trunk with pumpkins.  This year I was ready for something a little more fun. So I planned. And prepared. And planned some more.

Last year's trunk 'o pumpkins

I was going for a Disney's "Up" theme.  I would draw a picture of the Up house on a large cardboard poster, pillow stuffing would fill the trunk as clouds, we'd fasten balloons to the chimney and Conway and I would dress up as Carl Fredricksen and Russell.  I found a tweed jacket at Goodwill, I fashioned an "Ellie badge" out of a bottle cap, I sewed a bow tie, a scout sash and a bandana.  I borrowed a cane complete with tennis ball from a friend. . .

We were set! Conway even agreed (albeit grumbling all the while about me owing him big time).

Now I know what you're wondering--so where are all the photos?  Well, I told you about Up.  Now let me explain Down.

We got to the church late -- costumes take time people!  I was rushing to get everything put together for our theme: I spread the pillow stuffing all over the trunk; I secured the cardboard house into the clouds; then I attached the balloons to the chimney of the house. And then somehow I bumped the balloons.  And the balloons flew away.  And I was sad.

Carl Fredricksen to the rescue!  "I'll just run back to the party store for more balloons," he said. (Because honestly, what's an Up theme without balloons?).  He closed the trunk and made to leave.  But wait.  In my haste to get our trunk decorated I put the car keys in the trunk. And our trunk can only be opened with the keys.

At this point I pretty much ditched my Russell costume and spent the majority of the night dressed as Frowny Face Freda.

Meanwhile, Conway had to climb through that tiny opening in the backseat of the car, using his Blackberry as a flashlight, searching for the keys through piles and piles of pillow stuffing, wearing a heavy tweed jacket that (in his words) "an old man probably died in not very long ago."

But the evening wasn't a total loss.  My kids had a blast collecting dangerous amounts of candy, the youth from church actually joined me in a Thriller flash mob (I was slightly afraid they might leave me dancing a solo),  Conway finally found the car keys, and the tsunami warning that caused the party to end early didn't result in a tsunami. We're safe, dry, and now I have a theme--complete with costumes--all set for the YW New Beginnings party in January.  "It's 'Up' to you to make it a great year!"?
And maybe.  Just maybe we'll try again next Halloween.

Thriller Flash Mob - I taught the youth the Thriller dance at mutual a few days before the party. When the song came on I started dancing and to my delight (and surprise) the YM and YW joined me. 

Pretty Peacock strikes a pose while Spiderman tries to shoot his web

Little Lennon sporting the adorable bunny costume crocheted by our sweet neighbor

This is the house that Marley and I colored which ended up stuck inside the trunk next to the keys which were buried in the clouds which Conway had to find nearly losing his mind while I frowned all sad but danced which was rad
when the tsunami alert caused us to leave the church where our car had been parked and left in the dark with Conway inside for most of the night looking for the keys which were lost in the clouds next to the house that Marley and I built.