Pinned
หใใใใโฆใใใ.ใใ. ใโหใ.ใใใใใ . โฆใใใ ใหใใใใ . โ โ. this user loves the night sky ใใใ.โโ ใใหใโญใ ใใ*ใใ ใใโฆใใใ.ใใ.ใใใโฆให ใใใใโหใ.หใใใใใโญใ.ใใ. ใโหใ.ใใใใ ใใ ใใใใ โฆ
Work vacuum died. This is the fifth one since I started working here five years ago.
The first one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.
The second one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.
The third one died because my coworker vacuumed up rocks.
The fourth one died for unknown reasons that involved my coworker vacuuming up rocks.
The fifth one died a few minutes ago and it was a big mystery and my coworker was like โoh I donโt know what happened it just overtaxed for some reasonโ so I looked inside the hose andโget thisโit was jammed with rocks.
He keeps buying bigger and more expensive vacuums and complaining about how shitty and faulty the last ones were and every time I suggest something like โwhat if you didnโt vacuum up rocksโ heโs like oh no it is the vacuums who are wrong.
hey guys guess what happened again just now
The good news: you get to pick your new soulmate! (You can define "soulmate" however you want: platonic/romantic/partners in crime/etc. But they will be in your life, constantly.)
The bad news: you don't get to pick where they come from.
Spin this wheel until you get a fandom with characters that you recognize. As soon as you do, stop. One of those people* is going to be a constant presence in your life, whether you like it or not. So choose wisely.
*broadly defined
good morning kings letโs push this boulder
bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings letโs push this boulder
bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings letโs push this boulder
Bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings letโs push this boulder
bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings, letโs push this boulder
Bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings, letโs push this boulder
Bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings, letโs push this boulder
Bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings, letโs push this boulder
Bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings, letโs push this boulder
Bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning kings, letโs push this boulder.
bad news about the boulder everyone
good morning kingz letz push thiz boulder
bad news about the boulders everyone
good morning kings, lets push this boulder
bad news about the boulder everyone
good morning kings, lets push this boulder
bad news about the boulder everyone
good morning kings, lets push this boulder
bad news about the boulder everyone
good morning kings, lets push this boulder
bad news about the boulder everyone
good morning kings lets push this boulder
bad news about the boulder everyone
good morning, kings! letโs push this boulder.
bad news about the boulder everyone
good morning, kings! letโs push this boulder!
Bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning, Kings! Letโs push this boulder!
8ad news a8out the 8oulder everyone
Good morning, Kings! Letโs push this boulder!
bad news about the boulder everyone
Good morning, Kings! Letโs push this boulder!
bad news about the boulder, everyone :(
GOOD MORNING KINGS letโs push this boulder
Official Time Loop Post
call my bed an ashtray the way there's fags in there
MEAN TO ME ????
oh i love you fucked up mentor-mentee dynamics i love you dynamics that aren't quite friendship or family or romantic but some other thing that's like "you taught me how to be everything i know and i am grateful to you and i would die for you but also i resent you so much i love you i hate you how could you disappoint me like this i will spend my entire life wishing that i could love you but i will always hate you a little for how you made me feel--even if it made me stronger"
I'm howling, I know shit about the newest Snow White Disney regurgitation but I just clicked on it on iMDb and-
1.8 stars????? I didn't think that was possible. I clicked on it and-
IT'S EVEN FUCKING LOWER THAN THAT IF YOU DON'T COUNT THE OBVIOUSLY PAID-FOR 10S. Like even the other two recent disasters are higher than that!
This is where it occured to me to check something and-
IT'S RATED SIGNIFICANTLY LOWER THAN A MOVIE MADE PURPOSEFULLY TO BE AS GROSS AND HORRIBLE AS POSSIBLE. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN MANAGE THAT??????
IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THE SEQUEL OF A SEQUEL OF A HORROR MOVIE MADE EXCLUSIVELY BECAUSE TOM CARDY MADE A SONG ABOUT IT.
I think I'm going to pirate this and watch it out of sheer morbid curiosity.
I couldn't help myself, I went on a quest to find a movie worse than this. A bit hard, because iMDb doesn't let you sort by the lowest rated 250, but I managed.
BEHOLD! The movies that managed to get a worse rating than Snow White!
I actually saw this one when I was, uh, probably way too young for it. It's about Paris Hilton being a sadistic tyrant of some posh university and it includes charming scenes of her making aspiring college students eat leftover sushi from dog bowls and spraying whipped cream on her boyfriend's dick to make her dog give him a blowjob. Definitely worse than Snow White, right?
Well-
Enough people thought it was at least ironically funny to give it a 3.7 mean so it's, technically, NOT worse than Snow White. I guess Paris Hilton is at least hot.
Next, we have:
A very promising title! Apparently it's a sequel of a Turkish film 'The Man Who Saved the World', (which in itself is apparently 'Turkish Star Wars') and which one reviewer called 'mindbogglingly awful'. Hold on, let me show you the funniest part of one review:
This movie is so bad it interferes with one's inner peace! Surely not even Snow White is THAT bad.
Except-
To be fair, Turks in Space is a sequel of a problematic cult favorite, so it still manages to have some fans. My condolences to the person whose inner peace was disturbed, I hope you moved to a Tibetan monastery in 2019 and haven't had internet acess since. Hell, 2024 would be be better than seeing this.
Okay, by now iMDb algorhythm or whatever it is has figured out what I want and grudgingly started offering me its worst rated movies. Unfortunately...
It turns out it's REALLY FUCKING HARD to make a movie that is so universally unappealing. Even the worst movies so far have at least a dozen people who gave it a pity rating and a few maniacs who think it's unintentionally the best thing ever. Finding something below 1.8 is actually pretty hard!
But I prevailed and found this!
It's a very bad german vanity film about... I don't know, some guy who won a talent show once? The reviews speak for themselves:
'Cultural equivalent of stoning the viewer to death'. Wow. Have we finally found the most universally hated movie of all-
NOPE! Turns out even camcorder vanity projects have their fans. And mind you, this movie at least didn't cost 250 million to make! Considering how cheap it looks and that some people went to war with the German Amazon to track it down, I think it actually made more money than it cost anyway.
And so my search for a movie hated more than Snow White continues!
We're taking a turn for the absurd, and while these are TECHNICALLY a series, I have found TWO things that have made me nearly burst my spleen.
We have...
Literally just a collection of Charli D'Amelio's videos. I have to admit I had to google who the fuck that was.
But she still isn't what we're looking for. She does get an honorable mention because it's on her page that I found THIS.
People wiser than me have already realised what this is, but alas. I am an idiot. The 'ape' part should have tipped me off, but in my defense, seeing only half of that monkey's head was probably on purpose because you realize it instantly once you see it.
I had to open my computer, open youtube in a private window and then carefully copy it over here without opening it because I don't want Youtube algorhythm to catch so much as a whiff of it. But yes. It's exactly what it says on the tin.
HOWEVER.
It is, by the virtue of at least the people who went blind at the Bored Ape concert, NOT the most universally hated movie! Snow White continues to edge out some VERY stiff competition!
You know, "human for scale" when showing the sizes of animals living or extinct is kind of vague. We should use a specific famous person with a well-known height for scale. Like Sigourney Weaver
we must replace all "human for scale" figures in scientific literature with mr shaquille o'neal IMMEDIATELY
Quetzalcoatlus (with Benedict Cumberbatch for scale)
and our time warp trek back to 2013-era tumblr continues to pick up speed
tumblr where are they
Well it's April fool somewhere in the world already isn't it? Consider yourself booped
happy april fool's day
