I'm Not Like The Other Girls, I'm fucking insufferable. And a dyke. Not interested in anything socially acceptable.
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Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare 1991
Oh shit, finally it's really stupid!
This one is where all of the famous dumb jokes come from. The power glove joke, the hearing aid, New Line finally took it to full comedy, which is not a smart choice for what is meant to be the dramatic series finale, but given the *absolute state* of Part 5, I doubt it would have been better if they attempted to stay serious with it.
Part 6 is also a huge mess, like…
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A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child 1989
This is the one that finally disengaged my brain, which is wild. Yes, somehow I managed to stay legitimately invested up to this point.
Part 5 is basically the movie I was afraid Part 4 was gonna be. The dipshit crassness has been cranked up so high that Freddy is now en-evil-ifying an unborn fetus, which is like... okay. The conception stuff, whatever. I can at least give it props for being pro-choice? I don't think the grandparents would have…
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Blade Runner 2049 2017
Sony held a roundtable and asked, "How can we make a sequel to Blade Runner that's worse than the original? I'm talkin', way worse. Considerably worse."
When Ryan Gosling enters a film, all sentences become spaced out by 3-5 seconds, by default. It doesn't sound like much, but it's actually excruciating. My man emotes even less than he did in Drive in this fuckin movie. Of course, whenever he actually does emote, it's only in explosive outbursts of dude-bro rage.…
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Nevada
This is the only movie I am actively planning to watch; it is literally my entire life.
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