the citizen kane of gamers
FAQ: why did you give xyz movie 3 stars?
A: because it's good. don't ask me what the other ratings mean.
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The Beekeeper 2024
This is somehow the most confusing action movie I've ever seen, but it does all work together. It's just really really funny. Idek what his accent is supposed to be. I admire how they love cops so much that Jason Statham kills 900 guys and 0 cops. And you know I can't ever get enough of that Equalizer shit. David Ayer's back on my good side. He better keep making Beekeeper movies.
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Kraven the Hunter 2024
This is actually a decent movie? Maybe the most normal of these off-MCU movies. Maybe the best acting performance out of Aaron Taylor Johnson that I've ever seen, and it's got him crawling around silly. It looks surprisingly good visually, it's got interesting action choreography, and honestly the story's alright. The editing between scenes does oddly feel like I'm watching tiktok videos at 2x speed at times, but in a good way? At the end of the day it's still a superhero movie ass superhero movie, but I didn't feel any regret watching it like I usually do.
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Sonny Boy 2021
I genuinely could not believe they made this.
Sonny Boy one of those weird sci-fi stories that doesn't even involve technology in the hard sense... just the abstract concept of the universe and our relationship to it and each other. It is also one of the very few things that have ever made me look up 20th-century French philosophy and rethink my whole life.
And look, I know we like to exaggerate and joke around here on the film wankery…
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Baby Geniuses and the Mystery of the Crown Jewels 2013
It goes without saying that Baby Geniuses 3 sucks major ass but it is kinda incredible. I think it was originally meant as a TV series, so it has the structure of a recurring/recursive nightmare that continues to unfold on a screen.
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