Favorite films

Recent reviews

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  Cellar Door 2024

  ★★★ Watched 25 Feb 2025

  Somewhat less Tubi-coded than my usual picks, I chose this because the title was somehow the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard. Anyways, this movie stars a Daddy Scott Speedman and Jordana Brewster as a couple who has an IVF miscarriage, and as they try to move on, they’re offered a house by Laurence Fishburne, which is honestly very much a Laurence Fishburne move. However, there is one condition: they must never open the cellar door on the side of…

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  Captain America: Brave New World 2025

  ★★★½ Watched 14 Feb 2025

  I’m not a big Captain America fan, because I’m a communist. However, this movie made me appreciate him more. Also, a lot of themes relevant to today—power, corruption, absolution, and a president that becomes a brightly colored monster.

  Also, Joaquin Torres could get it.

Popular reviews

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  Adopted 2024

  ★★★★★ Watched 07 Jan 2025

  This is continuing my Tubi Originals kick. This one is about a little white devil who keeps killing his adoptive caregivers, who are always people of color. Or maybe the kid is white-passing Latino like me, I dunno. But he has major gay face for being like 10. Also like me.

  They started off by showing a clip of him swinging a bat at his most recent caregiver, knocking her off the balcony. This clip was spliced with him telling…

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  MaXXXine 2024

  ★★★★★ Watched 05 Jul 2024

  Maxxxine captures all of my favorite parts of the 80’s: the fashion, the music, and drug use without consequences. I don’t remember there being this much murder during the 80’s, but I was also 4 years old. Mia Goth captures the desperation of stardom that we all can relate to, and embodies “girlbossing” before we even knew it had a name.

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