At times this movie feels like the juice isn’t worth the squeeze, but then a guy rips all his skin off and his puppeteered bloody viscera morphs lupinely, or a sexy Big Bad Wolf slaps Angela Lansbury’s head clean off, and it’s like hell yeah. It’s got super striking visual design and a confounding but charming fairy tales within fairy tales within a dream narrative structure. It’s corny and chintzy and hammy and sooo 80s in a Kate Bush video…

I went into this movie knowing nothing except Adrien Brody is in it and it won some Golden Globes. Hadn’t seen the trailer, hadn’t followed any of the Zionist discourse, and was certainly unaware of its nearly 4 hour runtime. After seeing it, it’s pretty jarring to read all the hot takes accusing the film of being pretentious, thin, or lacking substance, because I found it to be such a rich text.

I loved the exploration of the immigration experience…

In this Reddit-ass, epic bacon movie, Nic Cage plays a shallow caricature of himself which appears to have been written by someone who read two articles about Nic Cage and said "this guy is epic!" Two dimensional cardboard cutout characters written by a baby have tedious, unfunny dialogues about Paddington 2 and The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari while a facile kidnapping plot barely even makes an attempt to play out around them. Tiffany Haddish very visibly could not give less…