Suspiciously, sporadically and subjectively sentimental.
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Tom Clancy's Without Remorse 2021
I imagine a screenwriter opening the original book by Tom Clancy and reading the first page where we're introduced to Navy Seal John Kelly. The writer then flipped randomly to the middle of the book and read a page where Kelly disguises himself as a homeless drunk. Then, a quick jump to the last page to discover the hero being recruited by the CIA.
"Oh, I read it cover to cover. I thought it was fantastic," I'm sure they said,…
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I Care a Lot 2020
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
When a film wants to rapidly establish character and stir emotion, few things are as efficient as forcing the audience to watch the antagonist get away with a heinous crime. I Care a Lot fires up the righteous outrage machine from go. Unfortunately, this machine comes completely apart in third gear.
Marla Grayson (Rosamund Pike) is our villainess (she would want it written that way). Her MO is using the legal system to take elderly people hostage, empty their purses,…
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The Dirt 2019
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
"The Dirt" makes a feeble effort to be about music, then about relationships, but ultimately settles on being about how awesome it was to be a successful hair band in the 80s (but drugs are bad).
Plucked straight from Motley Crue’s memoir of the same name, Nikki Sixx (Douglas Booth) prologues the film with a gritty, tell-it-like-it-is narration of how everything in the 80s sucked. Meanwhile, Motley Crue was the coolest band ever. This sentiment is delivered without any irony;…
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The Hitman's Bodyguard 2017
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
The buddy-cop movie has a long and glorious tradition which Hollywood has been cooking up since before modern staples like 48 Hours and Lethal Weapon. The recipe is simple: start with two people with unique skills but conflicting personalities. One may stir in some ethnic/culture separation for extra flavor. Add a pinch of romance, and knead together until their differences become their bond. Finally, serve the mixture up next to a baddie that stands up on their own, but is…
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