Brandon

Brandon Pro

Favorite films

  • The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou
  • The Room
  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
  • Day of the Dead

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  • The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

    ★★

  • The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    ★★★½

  • Last Breath

    ★★★★½

  • Get Away

    ★★★

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  • The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

    The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

    ★★

    I began watching this when I sat down to eat my dinner. I do not recommend this. If you think that’s an obvious conclusion and you would have avoided that without anyone’s recommendation GOOOD FOR YOOOOOOOOOU! 

    Seemingly informed by Maniac (1980) and Texas Chain Saw Massacre, this film details the demented perspective of Martin, a special-needs man who is a child trauma survivor. He works in a parking garage and is obsessed with The Human Centipede original film, which is…

  • The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    The Human Centipede (First Sequence)

    ★★★½

    Sometimes you watch a movie and afterward you wonder why you decided to watch that movie. Like 90 minutes seemed like 2 weeks ago somehow. Surely there is something else to do. Anything!?

    I don’t know why I decided to watch this. I think it’s because I like horror movies with shitty sequels. This movie actually affected me more than I thought it would. It was genuinely creepy and gross.

    Edit to add: I’m updating my rating to give this…

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  • Heart Eyes

    Heart Eyes

    ★★★★

    A slasher that is both exhilarating and hilarious. This is humor done well in horror. Josh Ruben has been a delight as both an actor and director (check out A Wounded Fawn and Scare Me). Not every movie has to fundamentally change your life to be worthwhile. Heart Eyes is a great time at the movies!

  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    The Texas Chain Saw Massacre

    ★★★★★

    “Who will survive, and what will be left of them?” One of the greatest tag lines of all time, and one of the greatest horror films of all time. The original Chain Saw film was years ahead of its time. When I saw it for the first time at aged 14, it kept me up all night because it showed me how much I had not considered about how terrible people in the world could be. The scariest aspect was…