Sometimes I actually write other times it’s le funny one liner | All opinions my own
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Mickey 17 2025
This movie is 2 hours of Robert Pattinson doing his best impression of a dumbass (complimentary) while also just doing his Batman voice while trying to kill everyone. The entire cast is actually quite great with some of the standouts being Ruffalo (despite the trump joke being a bit tiresome by the end since it feels like a one joke pony just a wee bit) and Collette since they both work pretty well together and I’m a sucker for Steven…
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The Monkey 2025
"The monkey that likes killing our family is back. It must be vanquished."
That line pretty much encapsulates the entire film and I’m happy that it does. More splatstick than anything, ‘The Monkey’ exists as this nice reminder that horror doesn’t always have to either be entirely self serious or meta-textually aware. Sometimes there is a monkey that plays the drums and kills people, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Perkins brings his A game again following last year’s magnificent…
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Ohio Walnuts 2023
Projects where some friends kinda just fuck around in front of a camera is the heart and soul that hollywood wishes it hand. In other words, this is blair witch if it was actually cool instead of scary and made by people who I see on twitter
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