Normally when a film misuses Nic Cage it's because they're trying to make him god's most generic main character. In this he is allowed to do some of his signature delivery, but basically only his sudden shouting stuff is present past the halfway point. This matched with the fact that his disposition doesn't shift much afterwards makes his performance feel grating and one note. It doesn't help that that note is whiny and annoying which even if it is intentional…
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Blade 1998
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
This film opens on Blade being born in 1967. Later on we learn that the person who bit his mother is Deacon Frost. Now we know that Frost is a turned vampire and he looks to be in his mid 20s late 30s at least. This means that he was born in the 1940s at the latest since he must have been turned in 1967 at least. Now I want you to look at this man. I mean LOOK AT…
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The Boy in Blue 1986
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Perhaps the perfect by the numbers sports film. I mean this film has been happily married to the conventional sports plot for ten years and lives in a house completely constructed of well worn tropes, I don't think there's one single character who feels more like a real human being than an archetype or plot beat that you haven't seen a million times before. In spite of this, it is incredibly different from the rest of its ilk in ways…
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Valley Girl 1983
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
A film where nothing happens (bad). There's no setup at all for the stakes of this relationship, what makes these valley people different from the red light club people. Instead you get a bunch of montages while good music plays. This film does have a good soundtrack, unfortunately instead of elevating the material of the movie it instead just lets you forget that the movie is happening while your eyes glaze over. The things that should make it interesting just…
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