I like films. I like writing. I like writing about films.
Will watch any old shit.
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Battlefield Earth 2000
One of the most infamous box-office turkeys and collector of Razzie awards, Battlefield Earth deserves the reputation it has garnered. Awful in every possible way. From it’s connections to to shyster L Ron Hubbard and his Church of Scientology, to its abysmal story and script, to the acting (John Travolta is embarassing, as is Forest Whitaker), to the technical choices (too many Dutch angles, too many PowerPoint transitions between scenes). Bad. Not “so bad it’s good” bad. Not “have some beers with mates and take the piss” bad. Just bad.
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Mickey 17 2025
A new Bong Joon Ho film is something to be celebrated. While Mickey 17 doesn’t quite reach the heights of Parasite (a lofty target I know), there’s a lot of fun to be had with this sci-fi comedy. Robert Pattinson is having a good time as the titular character, Mark Ruffalo brings some Trump-ian sleaze to his seedy politician and Toni Collette is equally repugnant as his sauce-obsessed wife. It’s typical Bong Joon Ho; all over the place but in a good way. It bounces between genres effortlessly with an effortless fleet of foot. Probably too lightweight to be a classic, but still good fun.
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Jingle All the Way 1996
Arnold Schwarzanegger's bad parenting made Jake Lloyd grow up to be Darth Vader
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Workers Leaving the Lumière Factory 1895
The first film ever made and exhibited to a paying audience, the historical importance of The Lumiere Brother's Employees Leaving the Lumiere Factory cannot be overstated. If we didn't have this film, then we wouldn't have Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen! Actually, fuck the Lumiere Brothers! No I don't mean that. Thank you boys.
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