A sad alcoholic critic who seeks to understand cinema and life. sex weirdo. 100% quality reviews.
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Hellboy: The Crooked Man 2024
Hellboy: The Crooked Man but instead it’s Hellboy: The Crooked Dick because he has peyronie's disease.
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Snow White 2025
A movie where a witch who can't act curses a beautiful young woman with the worst haircut of all time. There's a lot of controversy and discourse around this movie and all I could think about was wondering what was the point? Why am I doing this? Is there any reason for me to be reviewing this or am I just trying to delay a doomscroll session?
Why waste your time watching this or talking about it? I am close…
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Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse 2018
Today at the movies, I told the cashier Merry Christmas. She said, "Happy Holidays, ma'am.”
I smiled and said "You don't have to be afraid anymore. Sony gave us a good Spider-Man movie." She started crying tears of joy and said "Merry Christmas" and then everyone in the theater applauded👏👏👏
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