Cole

Cole Patron

Just saw movie.
Was okay...
What are next?

Favorite films

  • Blue Velvet
  • Twin Peaks: The Return
  • Eraserhead
  • Wild at Heart

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All
  • The Wages of Fear

    ★★★½

  • Twin Peaks: The Missing Pieces

    ★★★★

  • Pacific Rim: Uprising

    ★★★

  • The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters

    ★★★★

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  • Saturday Night

    Saturday Night

    ★★★★★

    I went into this with absurdly high and specific expectations, and for the first time in maybe a decade those expectations were precicely met, and at times even exceeded. I got exactly the movie I wanted, right down to specific edits and placement of historic moments. The last 20 minutes of this I had tears in my eyes from just how "perfect" it came across, how seamlessly the myriad of elements came together.

    This is all of my favorite things…

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  • The Wages of Fear

    The Wages of Fear

    ★★★½

    This is cool, but Sorcerer is better.

  • Pacific Rim: Uprising

    Pacific Rim: Uprising

    ★★★

    I honestly don't understand the extreme hate that this got. Sure, it's nowhere near the caliber of a Guillermo del Toro film, but this was solid fun. This really feels like a James Cameron movie, but it's more enjoyable than anything he's done in 30 years. Some of the marvel-esqe banter gets tiresome, but it's fairly inoffensive. It's just a big dumb blockbuster where Charlie Day is essentially a comic book super villain, but somehow almost all the characters get an arc. Is it a satisfying follow-up to Pacific Rim? No. Does it feel like an anime you might watch on a Saturday morning? Absolutely.

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  • The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

    The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse

    ½

    This is one of the most lifeless, pretentious, vain, vapid, pandering, and generally embarrassing films I have ever seen. Structurally it's a rip-off of Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin, but the end result plays like a kindergarten teacher trying to convey the simplest lessons possible. It felt like an AI wrote this script after being fed nothing but the "why do we fall?" scene from Batman Begins. It's literally nothing but platitudes for 34 minutes, this film has nothing…

  • Knock at the Cabin

    Knock at the Cabin

    ½

    M. Night Shyamalan: Bigoted Preacher

    This isn't fun bad like most of M. Night's shitty movies, this is offensive. It's dumb, and thinks you the viewer are dumb. Bautista and Groff manage to make the experience moderately less nauseating, but they couldn't possibly be enough to make up for the rest of the film. What makes this possibly the worst film I have ever seen isn't the onslaught of repetitive filler scenes, or the complete lack of character intellect, nor…