It's pretty, so it doesn't deserve the degradation of the unholy Dantean one-star. And yet, with each passing moment after credits, I grow more fervent in my dislike of this vampire re-hash.

Think: what novelty did this episode bring to the Dracula mythos: rape and a mustache.

I liked the mustache.

Okay, this one still grinds because of the first act. It's like seriously nonstop action. Good stuff. As soon as you think you're safe, of crap, the train derailed and is coming for me! It's bonkers and delightful. But then, after the waterfall dive, the pace slows down, and suddenly I'm stuck in an NCIS episode for an hour. It just feels like the director decided "Yeah, that's good enough" after the first act.

I'm still rolling with a positive score because the first act is pretty damn stellar for '93, but wish it could have continued to deliver enormous set pieces for the last 50.

While some of the logic doesnt quite track with me, I can't help but get swept up in it's affairs and that the final act goes one for half the movie (and I don't find that to be a problem!). Also, I can't help but love how the protagonists of Inception and Memento come to the same emotional conclusion--essentially--I don't care what reality is.

The house of mirrors scene gets all the credit, but my jam was the aquarium scene.