DartsInEyes

DartsInEyes

Favorite films

  • The Big Lebowski
  • Käpt’n Blaubär – Der Film
  • Eraserhead
  • The Act of Killing

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  • The Lighthouse

    ★★★★½

  • The Northman

    ★★★★

  • Final Destination 5

    ★★½

  • The Final Destination

    ★½

Recent reviews

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  • Final Destination 5

    Final Destination 5

    ★★½

    A lot of very well-directed standout moments here. The gym scene is a masterclass in suspense. It makes sense this one is remembered as the other (other) good one next to the original (and 3) since there's a lot here that really sticks in your mind. As per usual, the stuff between the setpieces is rather forgettable and makes the experience of watching this slightly less fun than it should be, especially since this one is about a bunch of…

  • The Final Destination

    The Final Destination

    ★½

    Never has a Final Destination movie been considered high-minded, but this is by far the stupidest of the bunch. The kids here are pretty much unlikeable and some of their choices are applications for the Darwin Award. The movie has its tongue basically poking through its cheeks, but it's still pretty obnoxious, even though in all honesty if you're watching The Final Destination in 2025 you're probably here for this kind of shit.

    And despite all that, this movie has George the security guard, perhaps the most developed character in the whole series? It's not saying much, but hey. Also, the water pump death.

Popular reviews

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  • Freakscene: The Story of Dinosaur Jr.

    Freakscene: The Story of Dinosaur Jr.

    ★★

    I've listened to Bug once and I have like 3 albums each by Sonic Youth and My Bloody Valentine in my CD collection, so that means I'm an expert on 90s alt-rock and an authority on its history. Anyways, if you're not a giant fan of Dinosaur jr. already, there's little of interest in Freakscene. It's a fairly straightforward music doc, and unlike the best of its kind it doesn't translate the enthusiasm that the fans (and fellow musicians) have…

  • Kalashnikov AK-47

    Kalashnikov AK-47

    ★½

    By its design, this film is going to irritate a few people. It's an odd choice to portray a weapons manufacturer with the same reverence you'd give to somebody like Stephen Hawking or Freddy Mercury, and don't hold your breath for a Dark Realisation moment à la Nobel or Oppenheimer: Kalashnikov is devoted to the Motherland from the word go and his patriotism doesn't grow any more nuanced throughout the film. Russia's American Sniper.

    That's not what annoyed me about…

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