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The Founder 2016
BJ Novak is a porcelain god. He graces the silver screen with a golden radiant bliss unattainable by the likes of normal men. When I sleep, I dream of a powerful jawline and piercing eyes whispering the sweet secrets of capital and the unshakable power that is the earth beneath our feet. Flee my mere mortal subjects, and tremble, for I am your owner, the king who feeds and to whom you offer your tithes of dollar menu joys with glee whilst conjoined to a procession of sweatpant coffee stains. I am your founder, and BJ is my senpai.
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Another Round 2020
Made me want a drink by the half way mark, so I made one. By the time I had finished the drink, the film made me regret wanting one in the first place. Then it said “nah it’s all good G, just live a little in moderation” as it rubbed my back, my tears dripping into the next drink I poured with shaking hands. The salt really spiced it up. Never felt better in my whole life. Would’ve been 5…
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