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Jurassic Park 1993
Spielberg sold his soul to make this film, but while his everlasting soul is tormented in damnation for eternity, he will rest easy knowing that this movie will continue to capture the hearts and imaginations of any who have the good fortune to experience it for even longer.
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White Men Can't Jump 1992
Who's Ron Shelton? Who cares, he made this film which given absolutely no research into his other accomplishments I can confidently say is his lifes crowning achievement, we are all better for this man having made this film. As Wesley Snipes boldly says "the sun even shines on a dog's ass some days" poetry.
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The Shape of Water 2017
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Trash film. Spoilers, neckbeard uses big budget to fulfil fetish fantasy of lady fucking a fish-man, desperately tries to fulfill indie quota to appeal to progressives.
Pacing: trash
Plot: trash
Character motivation: trashTranslated from by -
The Air Up There 1994
The Jimmy Dolan shake and bake will be forever immortalised thanks to this absolute cinematic masterpiece. Anything less than 5 stars is an affront to film making.
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