"I manage a technology startup where we harness the energy made by Alfred Hitchcock, as he spins like a flywheel in his grave." - Evan (but I may be misremembering a line)
Evan (Ryan Lord) is a male android who meets a female android named Kim (Julia Culbert). The two of them pantomime a simulacra of human courtship for fully an hour like you’re watching an extended video capture from The Sims.
During this time, they do all the James…
Four teens are on a double-date when they are abducted by two monstrous, grunting oafs lumbering through an alley. Tranquilized, they’re given a ride to an upper middle-class neighborhood that never asks questions about the arrival of creepy van-loads of unconscious teens. Deposited into a two-story estate house - sorry, a ‘clinic’ - they’re laid on gurneys so they can be preyed upon by crazy doctors.
The clinic is a front for a criminal operation where the young have their…
How is it possible that every Neil Breen movie that I watch is the worst Neil Breen movie I’ve ever seen? That seems impossible, yet here I sit, thinking “this is the worst Neil Breen movie I’ve ever seen”.
Cade: The Tortured Crossing is incredible in just about every way that word can be taken. It’s poorly conceived, poorly written, breathtakingly naive, and incredibly inept on every technical measure. Trying to tell someone ‘what it’s about’ is an exercise in…
Cat’s home has been destroyed by a planet-ruining flood, so they desperately flee onto an abandoned boat which quickly accrues other animal passengers. Together, everyone learns to survive this new world and open their hearts to one another.
Flow is amazing. It built powerful characters and placed them in compelling situations. I felt the tension of concern for each animal. The movie accomplishes a herculean amount of work with zero dialogue. Backgrounds are fairly detailed; characters are stylized, and the…
