Heavy Metal Larry David. Live by the 4Bs: Bullet belts, Bourbon, Taco Bell.
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The Autopsy of Jane Doe 2016
I absolutely love the setup to this and it feels like a Lovecraftian anthology segment at its core. Hirsch and Cox are fully game and that elevates proceedings significantly. What hamstrung it for me was the scattering of jump scares and the genre tropes deployed in the last act. The loud and predictable conclusion feels counter to the slow and deliberate build up that the majority of the film creates.
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The Monkey 2025
In the hands of another director this adaptation of King’s short story would be a po-faced meditation on death and its resonance. In the hands of (worse still) BlumHouse, this would be a reskinned Annabelle full of jump scares and dead eyed youtuber-level acting. Lucky for me that the man responsible is none other than Ozzy P!
The Monkey is a Rube Goldberg machine full of hyper-violence that understands the humorous potential so lacking from movies like The Final Destination…
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Longlegs 2024
My boy Osgood does not miss. This movie has a direct tether to my brain for what constitutes dread and how to create interesting lore. The framing of these shots is perfect at capturing an eeriness that feels like a cursed polaroid. A beast that feels borne of many origins including the best parts of Exorcist III, a very specific element from Blood Harvest and the unexplained yet dangerous magic of Fire Walk With Me.
Hail Satan.
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