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Never Let Go 2024
Another nothing-burger entry in the ongoing A24-ification of horror, where poor writing collapses under the pressure to be profound.
This plot is paper-thin, and the ending lands like the same old melodramatic tantrum we’ve seen a hundred times before. Had it bothered to answer even one of the many questions it raised, it might’ve risen to mediocrity.
The film bros may yell at the clouds, but this is not witty ambiguity; it’s laziness. There’s nothing clever about throwing shit at the wall to see if it sticks, especially if you miss.
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Nosferatu 2024
An absolute disgrace. Stunning visuals and phenomenal acting, along with the legacy of Nosferatu, are ruined by directionless storytelling. Robert Eggers once again flies completely off the rails, cobbling together a barely cohesive plot and a soulless mess. This has no charm or narrative depth. Count Orlok is reduced to a reanimated pervert, stripped of motive, character, and backstory, who’s obsessed with an... old fling? Shoutout to the cast and crew—you deserved far better.
Laughable, and the biggest disappointment this year alongside Longlegs.
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Poor Things 2023
A male fantasy peddled as progress.
The whole movie centers on grown men taking advantage of a baby—having a wide variety of graphic sex with it—yet somehow it’s supposed to be “feminist” because the baby “likes it.” The only thing keeping this film from being illegal is the fact that the baby is trapped in her dead mother’s sexy adult body.
Yet, we are expected to see this as a whimsical journey of female empowerment because—what? She discovers sexual agency…
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