Typical Cinephiles: “Well, the film’s not gay. It just uh, has some elements that could subtextually be read as queer…”
James Dean 10 minutes into the film: “If I had one day when I didn't have to be all confused and I didn't have to feel that I was ashamed of everything. If I felt that I belonged someplace. You know?”
Me: “Ah, yes… some elements.”
Aggressively mid, and everyone convinced themselves it was good almost a decade ago. Now we’re drowning in this shit.
Go see Mowgli instead. Even tho Andy Serkis sadly seems to be turning into an AI simp.
Hideaki Anno’s fetishization for using the old sound effects and music cues from the OG versions of the IPs he’s adapting is back with a vengeance.
But don’t be fooled, this isn’t “Shin Gundam”. It initially feels like it’s going to be exactly that during the prologue, and there’s definitely something surreal about seeing sequences from the 79 series animated in the same style as the Evangelion Rebuild films. But once we get into the series proper, the blend of…
WARING: SOME SIDE EFFECTS OF VIEWING THE SUBSTANCE MAY INCLUDE:
-WINCING AND SQUIRMING IN UNCOMFORTABLE REVULSION
-UNCONTROLLABLE BURSTS OF LAUGHTER
-GASPS AND SQUELS OF TERROR
-MORE UNCONTROLLABLE BURSTS OF SPONTANEOUS LAUGHTER
-AN AVERSION TOWARDS EATING FOOD
-MORE LAUGHTER
-EXISTENTIAL FEAR OF AGING
-BODY DYSMORPHIA
-INCREASINGLY HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER FROM YOU AND THE REST OF THE AUDIENCE
