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Clerks III 2022
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
Terrible in every way possible. There's not an actual joke to be found in the entire film other than the running Elias costume change gag. That is, unless you count the constant references to the original Clerks and the extended View Askewniverse that are assaulting your eyeballs for the entire runtime of this movie. But sorry, no, these nostalgic allusions are not funny. Maybe for a three-minute SNL skit, but not for an entire movie. They are just tired.
Oh,…
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Falling Down 1993
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I saw this movie twenty-something years ago when I was in college, and viewed Michael Douglas' Bill, aka D-FENS, as the protagonist. I loved it. The grocery clerk won't give him change? Smash up his bodega! A fast food employee won't give him breakfast after 11am? Shoot up the place! A rich golfer complains he's walking on their private course? Destroy his golf cart with a shotgun! I was young and dumb, and I watched a black comedy revenge porn…
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The Princess Bride 1987
The perfect movie. It has fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles... what else could you ask for?
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Black Adam 2022
This could have been so much more fun without so much heavy-handed, tone-deaf moral posturing. Seriously, are we supposed to believe the Justice Society is that naïve? And while working for Amanda Waller, who has no morals whatsoever? Do they want us to hate Hawkman, who could otherwise be a really cool hero if he wasn't so busy being a black man that was, at best, indifferent about oppressing other people of color? Whatever. The more I think about this movie, the less I like it, but in fairness, this is clearly not a movie that is meant to be thought about.
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Nobody 2021
Could I quibble about the plot being so similar to John Wick? Yeah, I suppose I could, especially because it's from the same writer as all three of the John Wick movies. But, seriously, who fucking cares? You shouldn't be watching this movie hoping for a new and inventive script. Just pure action awesomeness, which this delivers. It was a joy to watch, and I'll watch any sequels they make, even if they're also similar to the John Wick movies.…
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