certified vampire freak and mean bisexual. check out all my half a star reviews
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Breathless 1960
shoutout to the two girls who were forced to watch this with me in our senior year of college, i understand why the librarians turned the heat off in protest of our shithead professor screening this movie when no one wanted to see it, but i do think that that was cruel and unnecessary to the three of us. like cmon, did we really have to watch French Misogyny: The Movie in a glass room with no heat when it…
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Pandora and the Flying Dutchman 1951
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
i was entranced by the first half of this movie, but just like the ghost and mrs. muir, this movie is so 1950s, so bogged down by their contemporary sexism and view of women that it kind of fails as a redemption story.
pandora loves hendrik, and wants to choose him, which works until you find out he’s the abusive husband of the murdered, ancient version of herself who killed her for…having friends. that’s a hard sell! and when they…
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Juno 2007
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
i notoriously give low ratings to a lot of very popular movies, but i was thinking about juno the other day specifically because of how easily you could get this movie on dvd after it came out. yes, it was 2007, but i was /nine/ and no one at the store gave a shit that i bought a copy, even though i very clearly had no idea what it was about. somehow i thought it was about aliens. since i…
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The Wolf of Snow Hollow 2020
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
i’m SO mad the werewolf wasn’t real and the cop wasn’t the werewolf. it starts off great but says absolutely nothing about anything. “is this what it’s always been like for women or something?” shut UP this movie is steeped in misogyny!! the ending is just misogyny!! the main character is just misogyny!! the cop should’ve been the werewolf i can’t stress enough how much the cop should’ve been the real werewolf he was THE villain of this movie. “oh…
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