Another playful indictment of competitive trauma collecting and virtue signalling commonly championed by outrageously affluent, digitally dependent early-aughts babies, and more broadly, an always-welcome mockery of the absurd incompetence and painful idiocy that permeates the social bubbles of the upper-upper class at large. Bodies Bodies Bodies isn't a complicated film to digest and doesn't try to present as such, which works in its favor toward avoiding the typical pitfalls into which many of its thematic contemporaries seem to enthusiastically plunge.…
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Alien: Romulus 2024
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
I've never exerted as much discipline doing anything as it took me to avoid all promotional material for Romulus like the fucking plague. Not sure that works as a sentence but it's 1:30 on a work night and I just got home from the theater and I'm hitting the meditation medication so it likely just gets worse from here. Gotta collect what thoughts I have left.
It's a clean fucking first act. Everything we need narratively is provided to us…
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Cobweb 2023
Antony Star and Lizzy Caplan were the whole draw, and ended up being most of the highlight. Critically, we're at 88 minutes here, not 108. Cobweb gets away with some dumbness and some missed opportunities because it's concise; lot of similar projects residing in this same general realm of confidence/production value need to take note. Not sure it really earns the pulpy extravaganza at the end, but a few awesome scenes and performers I enjoy are more than enough to come out of this satisfied.
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Meg 2: The Trench 2023
The general consensus on this film is way too generous. It's probably the shittiest movie of the year, and one of the most insidious under the surface, if you will. But a bit more tangibly, it's so disgusting and insulting to willfully waste our only big-budget shot at a "Mariana trench contains isolated pocket of prehistoric ecosystem" movie. You have no idea how devastating that is to me, and yet I knew this was coming, like this, at this level…
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