Favorite films

Pinned reviews

• 

  Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter 1984

  ★★★★★ Rewatched 13 Oct 2023 1

  What happened to Gordon the Golden Retriever, a fan fiction

  Last scene:
  Gordon runs upstairs and jumps through the second-story window.

  Fanfic:
  GORDON sticks the landing and trots away from the house.

  GORDON: Ruff ruff, woof [loosely translates to: Fuck this, I'm out.]

  GORDON walks along the familiar path he takes to see his girlfriend, a stray black lab named ISABELLE. They sniff each other's genitals and ISABELLE immediately understands that GORDON ain't fuckin' with JASON or the JARVIS FAMILY…

• 

  Reality 2014

  ★★★★½ Watched 05 Apr 2020 2

  Christopher Nolan retire bitch

Recent reviews

• 

  Opus 2025

  ★½ Watched 16 Mar 2025

  Well this was a bummer. Unearned tone shifts, a limp climax, really dumb ending. It looks beautiful tho, and whoever controlled the drone needs a raise. The compound zoom out would be really cool if Leone hadn't done it better over 50 years ago with a crane.

• 

  Black Bag 2025

  ★★★★ Watched 15 Mar 2025

  Wife guy movie.

Popular reviews

• 

  Barbarian 2022

  ★ Watched 08 Sep 2022 2

  Whoever said this is the "scariest movie since Hereditary" can fuck right off.

• 

  I'll Be Gone in the Dark 2020

  ★★½ Watched 03 Aug 2020

  The strength of the Golden State Killer's surviving victims is so inspiring. I'm pretty sure I would crumple into nothing under those circumstances, yet these women survived, fought and often thrived. 

  The show falters, tho, when it becomes hyper-focused on Michelle McNamara and buys into the ridiculous narrative that she is somehow GSK's victim as well. She was an otherwise great writer and talented amateur investigator, there's no need to force a hero on us, especially one who didn't contribute…