I have nearly 200 (and counting) horror and horror-adjacent films to log into this app. This is gonna be fun. 🎭
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Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter 1984
In the span of thirty seconds, Jason smashes three downstairs windows yet decides to step through none of them and instead busts through a nearby door like the Kool-Aid man before chasing his targets. A mere thirty seconds later, after the fleeing kids lock themselves in a room for protection, Jason repeatedly tries turning the doorknob to get in, instead of immediately smashing his way through with either his strength or his weapon.
This movie is so unserious.
I am…
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Black Friday 2021
Black Friday has a strong immediate start with an intriguing setting and great humor, but it just as quickly squashes the uniqueness of its premise. Curious to see how the film would depict the beastly natures unleashed in shoppers during the titular annual event, I was disappointed that viciousness manifested into a literal monster concept. I don’t know how the movie would have pulled off its premise without a sci-fi element, but it’s a shame Black Friday doesn’t attempt to…
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Ginger Snaps 2000
Ginger Snaps is a terrific period piece — of a different kind! — that should be an essential viewing for all. Directed by John Fawcett, who co-wrote the screenplay with Karen Walton, Ginger Snaps is clever, beautiful, and stylish with resonant themes and fantastic acting. Emily Perkins and Katharine Isabelle prove to be one of the mightiest acting duos there has ever been as Brigitte and Ginger Fitzgerald, two morbidly creative and misanthropic sisters with an inseparable bond. As the…
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Beetlejuice 1988
I wish I could say I was as charmed by Beetlejuice as much of the world is, but I just found it to be a waste of time, never justifying its existence. It has a nice premise, but it seems to have too much fun bouncing between all of its own eccentricities to make proper use of said premise. I didn’t find the movie funny, and the film’s should-be star attraction, Beetlejuice himself, is just so obnoxious and unlikable. After…
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